What If Cold Emails Really Are Just Cold?

Maybe it’s time we put them to rest

Photo by Rebecca Hansen on Unsplash

I used to make a game of replying to cold-call emails.

In my mind, cold-call emails were akin to spam. I didn’t want them. 99% of the time, I had no interest in the product or service the poor sales guy was schlepping.

So I had fun with it.

After a couple of emails, I’d write back in a passive-aggressive tone that clearly communicated my disinterest in the product while burning the sender just enough to ensure they wouldn’t bother responding.

Something like:

“Hey, Andrew — thanks for all the emails. I admire your persistence in the face of adversity; I’ve given no indication that I want your product/service, nor that I have any interest whatsoever in chatting with you, and yet you continue to send me emails, not unlike a dog that continues to beg for scraps under the table.

Let me save you and I some time. I don’t want your product/service. If I did, I’d research the industry and contact a few vendors for demos and cost comparisons. While you might logically think that, because I’ve seen your name and your company name in my inbox recently, I might be inclined to include your product/service in my consideration set should that fateful day arrive, the truth is…