The Best Way To Deal With The Negative Thoughts
Demi Lovato recently released a new single titled I love me. The lyrics to the song go — Cause I’m a black belt when I’m beating up on myself, But I’m an expert at giving love to somebody else. These lines paint a clear picture of the whole narrative of our negative thoughts. Whenever I find my mind cluttered with such overwhelming thoughts, my inner critic becomes loud, and the compassionate me goes for a temporary breakdown.
Mark Manson, the New York Times and international bestselling author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F***, introduced a term called The Feedback Loop from Hell. It is when you feel anxious about being anxious.
You get anxious about confronting somebody in your life. That anxiety cripples you and you start wondering why you’re so anxious. Now you’re becoming anxious about being anxious. Oh no! Doubly anxious! Now you’re anxious about your anxiety, which is causing more anxiety.
The same goes with your negative thoughts, the more you pay attention to them, it’s like adding fuel to the fire. Your mind will keep bombarding you with the events of past mistakes and all the reasons why your life sucks. It’s like a chain reaction.
So what can we do when we find ourselves in this emotional rut?
Think of yourself as an observer and your thoughts as passing cars in a traffic
I stumbled upon this video from Headspace co-founder, Andy Puddicombe a few years ago. However, when your brain gives you a tough time, it is hard to remember a video you watched that made a lot of sense back then. But whenever I do remember, it helps me a lot. With mindfulness, you can learn to become a good observer.
Journal, keep track of your thoughts
Often, negative thoughts stem from a different underlying issue. When you are dealing with several thoughts at once, the main point can get lost in translation. Writing helps in de-cluttering the mind and arrange thoughts in a way to conclude an answer. You might realize that it is just your mind telling you that it is exhausted, and you need a break. Or you might realize that you just woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
It has been told by many, who are advocates of journaling, try writing down things that you’re grateful for. It helps in giving a different perspective and focus on the positive.
Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. The more you express gratitude for what you have, the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for.
Go for a walk or listen to your favorite podcast
Whenever I feel overwhelmed with emotions, I go out for a walk. Sometimes, I listen to songs from my favorite artists or a podcast while walking. After a while, when my mind starts to calm, I sit somewhere quiet and peaceful. The idea is to allow yourself to engage in something other than stressing over the negativity. You can do whatever you like, cook, clean, paint, talk to someone, dance, go out, hang out with friends.
You can work efficiently when your mind is relaxed. After you gain control over your thoughts, you can go and backtrack these thoughts, find the bottom of the iceberg.
Know that it’s okay to feel what you’re feeling
Your emotions are here to help you. These are the reactions to your surroundings. I don’t draw a line between emotions and labeling them as good or bad. Daniel Kahneman, author of the international bestseller, Thinking, Fast and Slow mentions the experiments showing How does the mood influence the performance? He concluded that — When in a good mood, people become more intuitive and more creative but also less vigilant and more prone to logical errors. He goes on to say — unhappy subjects were completely incapable of performing the intuitive task accurately. However — A bad mood indicates that things are not going well, more vigilance is required.
So, how would you draw the line? Every emotion is necessary for your functioning. You can’t always be happy and stroll and jump around the city unless you’re a maniac. It’s okay to not feel okay from time to time. It’s a call for change in your lifestyle and decisions. Use them to guide you and let them in the passenger seat while you hold the steering wheel.
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