If you want to be happy, think about it
What’s a life skill you’ve tried repeatedly to master, but still haven’t been able to? I’ll go first — swimming.
I can’t do it. I’ve tried. Many times over. Over many years. With help from many people. But I find myself right where I started, both figuratively and literally. I seem unable to move with any purpose through water. I must admit I’ve learned to float — somewhat. But demand anything more, and the best I can do is to thrash frantically at the water — grace, dignity and any sense of distance be damned.
The last time I gave trying to learn it a serious shot, I signed up for classes at a crusty old pool in Chennai many years ago. On Day 2, I found myself on a ridiculously high diving board. Questioning every choice I’d made which had led to me standing (what seemed like) 300 feet above the water. And as I was kicking my inner idiot for urging me to “face my fears”, the instructor wordlessly pushed me over the edge. My entire, if short, life flashed before my eyes as I hurtled, screaming, towards what seemed like an imminent (and wet) end. You snigger, but it was all the frantic thrashing that saved my life that day. But ever since, I have known deep down (ha!) that swimming isn’t for me.
Another “survival” skill that has challenged me but with which I’ve had better luck, is meditation.
— As a kid, I’d wonder what my father meant when he said he closed his eyes for 10 minutes every day so he could “see nothing”.
— I grew up being sceptical (and righteously under-informed) of concepts like yoga, pranayama and “mindfulness”.
— And years later, when I decided to see what the fuss was about and give exercises in self-examination and quiet reflection a try, I struggled. And then scoffed. What silence? What stillness? What blank space?
Like swimming, it isn’t for me, I decided.
Till someone suggested I flip things around a little. And think “happy” thoughts instead of “nothing” thoughts. That those could be just as therapeutic. Even more so, maybe. And that doing so could actually be fun. And easy. Not something I needed to push myself to do. Or convince myself that it was good for me.
✓ all of the above. “Thinking for pleasure” on a regular basis is something that has helped me feel more centred, calm and grateful when I’ve most needed it. If any of you “gratitude journal”, you’ll know how incredible it feels to simply reflect on, and record, the good things in your life. This is just like that, but with nothing except you and your thoughts. No paper, no pen, no phone? No problem.
And if you’re wondering how you can actually create happiness with just your thoughts, the link below tells you how to (and why you should) do that.
Till next week, happy think, happy do.
