These Modern Programming Languages Will Make You Suffer

Welcome to the ultimate rating of modern programming languages

What are the pros and cons of a particular programming language? Is X a good language for my task? Googling “best programming language” will give you a standard list of “Python, Java, JavaScript, C#, C++, PHP” with a vague list of pros and cons. Seeing such articles makes me cringe — their authors must have been outright lazy, inexperienced, and lacking any imagination. Let’s dive deep and find out what really sucks — and what doesn’t.

In this article, I’ll attempt to give an objective and, hopefully, unbiased overview of popular (and not so popular) modern programming languages, ranked from the worst to best.

Bear in mind, there’s no single perfect programming language. Some work best for back end / API development, others are great for system programming.

I’m going to cover two of the most common language families in the world: languages descended from C, and languages descended from ML.

Programming languages are just tools in a developer’s toolbox. It’s important to choose the right tool for the job. I really hope that this guide will help you choose the most suitable programming language for your task. Making the right choice might save you…