The Positive Uses of Negative Emotions
I used to numb my ‘negative’ emotions because I totally bought into the New Age notion that I would end up manifesting negative events in my life. What actually ended up happening was that I numbed really important parts of myself.
In this article, I will break down each of these negative emotions, and let you know what happened when I numbed them. I will also reveal the positive uses and effects of these so-called ‘negative’ emotions. You might be surprised because they are actually very useful.
Let’s start with sadness:
SADNESS
When I numbed my sadness, I also numbed not only my happiness but also numbed myself to the suffering of the world.
Because sometimes my sadness comes from my empathetic ability to feel the pain and suffering of the world. It’s there so that I’d be motivated to do something about it and help my fellow human beings.
Also watch the video below on sadness. As the video shows, it’s also there to help me release other difficult emotions: it’s the emotion of letting go.
ANGER/RAW RAGE
When I numbed my anger and raw rage, I also numbed the passionate side of me and my connection to my deepest value.
There are two types of anger. One comes from my childhood wounds being triggered. The other I call raw rage. It comes from the violation of my Heart Virtue. My Heart Virtue is my deepest value, which is something I was born with and therefore, willing to die for. It’s therefore the one thing that is non-negotiable and the one thing that can’t be manipulated. My other values can change because they come from society, my parents, media, religion, etc. But this one never changes. It’s my unwavering Compass, my Lighthouse in stormy seas, my Guiding Light. This is why I feel goosebumps, ecstasy and tears of joy when I am embodying it and expressing it because I was born to be the example of it. On the flip side, this is also why I feel raw rage when it’s being violated or blocked. It’s along the same lines as Jesus flipping the tables at the Temple where the money-changers were:
Unlike ordinary anger, this raw rage is not meant to be dissolved but channeled and used as fuel for what I am passionate about.
Anger, channeled the right way, is fuel for whatever I am passionate about. The energy of anger is the same as the energy of being passionate about something.
For example, I have a friend who is a career coach because he channels his anger against corporations and their tendency to not see people’s worth and not pay people for what they are worth. Most people put up with it because they don’t see their own true worth. True worth, not in spiritual gobbledygook but in grounded terms — in actual dollars and cents.
He channels his anger into helping people in amazing ways. He helps people see exactly how much money they made either their current company or their previous company. This way, they can use this to ask for a raise or get a better job.
He helps employees have what he calls “CEO-mindset” so that they are able to see things from the employer’s point of view also. This shift in mindset also helps employees get a raise or a better job.
I saw his coaching first-hand when I co-coached somebody with him. I was astounded!
Another example: I am committed to experiencing Divinity, sharing Breakthrough Awakening and bringing Sovereignty back to the people. So, I feel raw rage when somebody behaves towards me from their own confused unconscious negative programming. I channel this raw rage by turning it into passion for my work as a Breakthrough Awakening coach and psychic surgeon, helping people Awaken to the unlimited possibilities within them.
I channel this raw rage into my passion for taking people from their struggle and confusion to a place of freedom and simplicity.
Also read this article on the 3 types of Anger to go into more detail.
GUILT
When I numbed my guilt, I also become blind to my own Core Values.
Because the truth is that only psychopaths don’t feel guilty.
If we’re feeling guilty, that’s a good indicator that we’re not in alignment with our Core Values. It means either that:
1. Our Core Values are conflicting each other.
2. Or that we’ve done something or we are doing something or we are thinking of doing something that is not in alignment with our Core Values.
So, it’s not about right or wrong. It’s about: how aligned am I with my own Core Values?
Of course, in order to be clear about this, we gotta know our own Core Values FIRST. Most people, unfortunately, have never taken the time to sit down and really question themselves: “What are my Core Values? What do I want my Core Values to be? (Not what religion tells me to believe, not what my mum told me, not what the media brainwashes me into believing, not what some author said I should believe. No, what are my own Core Values?)”
SHAME
When I numbed my shame, I became unaware of the subconscious limiting beliefs and programming that were running me.
Because the truth is that shame is the result of beliefs such as:
“I am not worthy.”
“I am not deserving.”
“I am not lovable.”
“I am not good enough.”
“I am not capable”.
“Women are not attracted to me because I am short.”
And more!
Note that these beliefs are subconscious and not logical. So, I knew logically and intellectually that they were not true, but the beliefs were still there anyways because they existed in the form of feelings, emotions, vague insecure incomplete thoughts and programming running me.
I did not feel whole until I healed the childhood wounds that caused these beliefs.
Diving into shame can help us uncover these beliefs so that we can heal them and remove them. These beliefs come from our childhood wounds. So we can heal our childhood wounds too when we heal our shame.
We can do this ourselves eventually, but in the beginning, it’s best to do this with a guide on the journey, such as a good coach or healer because:
- It’s hard to see our own blind spots. A good coach or healer can see them.
- It’s too painful to do this ourselves sometimes, especially initially.
At least, this is true for me even though I am a coach and a healer myself. It’s also true for my fellow coaches, my friends and my clients.
FEAR
When I numbed my fear, I also numbed my Intuition and my Excitement.
There is a saying that fear is excitement without the breath. So, breathe into your fear. Feel the excitement. Relish the feeling of uncertainty. Let the anticipation ravish you.
Or sometimes, our Intuition can masquerade as fear. It’s not really fear but a felt sense that something is off. Don’t ever let this go. This is extremely valuable information for navigating your relationships. Listen. Feel.
Or I fear touching a flame because I know I will get burnt. This type of fear also makes sense. So, clearly, not all fear is bad.
The other use of fear is that it can motivate us to finally stop running away from ourselves, face ourselves and get still. This is because the effects of fear are
- Fight.
- Flight
- Freeze.
We can use this “Freeze” effect as a doorway to become more still and centered inside ourselveves — as a form of meditation. Instead of running away, or fighting the freeze, embrace it, become still and see what other emotions, thoughts and beliefs there are that we must face, embrace and release (Sadness may come in too when it’s time for release).
HURT AND PAIN
When I numbed my hurt and pain, I numbed myself to the breaking of boundaries and the messages my body was telling me.
No matter what I am feeling, I am never wrong for feeling what I feel. A great analogy that a friend of mine once gave me was: “If I fall off a bike, and hurt my knee, is my knee wrong for feeling pain? Likewise, when my heart is feeling hurt, is my heart wrong for feeling hurt?” That analogy made me realize that it’s the resistance to feeling bad that added an extra layer of suffering to the pain. And it’s all because I was taught it’s wrong to feel bad. But what if I am not wrong? What if you’re not wrong? What if every feeling and emotion is useful?
In fact, pain is my body giving me a message. So, whenever I am feeling pain, I sit down, and ask the pain: “Thank you for the message. Please tell me: what is the message you’re trying to tell me?” Sometimes, the message is that I have a limiting belief. Sometimes, it’s that I am not in alignment with my own Heart Virtues and Core Values. Sometimes, it’s that somebody is breaking my boundaries. Sometimes, it’s more simple: I just need to drink more water or eat different food.
Also read this article on Asking Pain for Its Message for more details.
What Happened When I Decided to Feel More Fully
And so, I decided to feel more fully, more freely, more often.
And when I decided to fully feel freely, I became one with the Freedom that I am. Only then could I feel anything I want to feel just by Pure Intention and Surrender. And only then did I realize that there are more feelings and emotions than those I described above, even when it comes to the ‘positive’ ones. There is a huge range of feelings and emotions. There is:
feeling centered
feeling expansive
feeling present
feeling wild
feeling powerful
feeling wild-powerful
feeling Grace
feeling sensual
feeling sexual
feeling flirty
feeling generous
feeling abundant
feeling Oceanic
feeling Flowy
feeling strong
feeling ‘the Zone’ or the Flow State.
Freedom Itself feeling as Me.
Openness Itself feeling as Me.
feeling pleasurable tingles
feeling tension in the belly as pleasure (yes, this is possible)
feeling tiny sparks of electricity around the heart.
feeling the Network of Life when I hug a tree.
feeling amused
feeling playful
feeling Co-Creative
feeling Creative
feeling held
feeling safe
feeling cozy
feeling the love, peace, safety and vulnerability when I look into a lover’s eyes or even when I express a desire or extend myself.
feeling vulnerable
feeling excited
feeling calm
feeling Beauty
feeling touched
feeling moved
and…
so much more!
In fact, there is such wide range of feelings and emotions that sometimes words are not enough. That’s why we have music to help us feel! For example, watch this video of me singing “Dust in the Wind”
Numbing the negative feelings and emotions made me unaware of the thousands of positive feelings and emotions that are possible to experience, such as in the examples above. There are all these subtle nuances that are extremely beautiful.
In fact, sometimes, it’s so nuanced that it’s hard to tell the difference between a positive and a negative emotion.
For example, am I feeling sad or am I feeling moved?
Unless we are willing to feel all feelings and emotions, including the negative ones, we won’t have access to the richness of life. And we feel this richness of life through the infinite ocean of feelings and emotions, both positive and negative.
And it’s not just about losing the richness of life. As you can now see, these so-called negative feelings and emotions are actually vital to navigating our relationships, our health and all aspects of our lives.
And for even more examples of the positive use and effects of what society deems negative, watch this very powerful and relevant video.
So, go ahead, and FEEL. Let me know how you feel right now in the comments below.
About the Author:
Hi! I am Breakthrough Awakening Kundan Chhabra.
I am a psychic surgeon of the mind. For years, I struggled with feeling lonely, sad, confused, powerless, trapped and even suicidal. I even remember thinking about jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge and repeatedly calling the suicide hotline.
Then, years later, after having one-on-one sessions with so many amazing coaches and healers, I discovered the relationship between feeling and thinking, between events and their meaning, between the part of me that feels painful emotions and the part of me that is always free.
So, I learned how to be in touch with that part of me that is free and clear no matter what negative emotions I am feeling. I eventually learned how to help others get in touch with it too.
As a result, I now take clients from their struggle and confusion to a place of freedom and simplicity.
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