How to Accept the Fact That People Don’t Like You
Being loved is a great feeling! Being hated is fine too. In fact, some people experience a certain sense of power when they know that they are loathed by people. However, though some of you might disagree- and you’re absolutely right in having an opinion- I personally feel that when people behave indifferently towards you, it’s not okay at all. Being disliked seems like a much sweeter possibility than being invisible to people. And if you’re the kind of person who loves people, it gets kind of disturbing.
For me, I’m the kind of person who wears her heart on her sleeve. Though if you ask my colleagues, ironically, you might not get even one vote in favour. Call it chance or choice, I have become somewhat distant to the people I used to talk to the whole day and, of course, to the people I never really gelled up with in the first place. When my seat changed 6–7 months back, I tried hard not to lose touch with the people I was close to. I struggled to be a part of everything that happened with the rest, even when the overall interaction had started to lessen. Eventually, with time, the distance indeed turned out to be a barrier between me and the rest of them. There’s nothing I could do about it.
So, I accepted it.
Honestly, one of the best lessons (read hard-earned lessons) I’ve learned is to accept the things that you cannot change. But we’ll talk about that in another article.
So, what do you do about the fact that people don’t like you? The fact that you don’t do the things they do, so they can’t relate? The fact that the people you looked up to till a few months back, see nothing when they look at you?
Well, you accept it. You try to look at the reasons why their sense of affinity has started fading off or why they never had any affinity for you to begin with, and try to understand reasons for that. You face the reality of how things are. Then, you stop fighting to prove your worth, months after months. You see your potential as an individual. And the best part? You look at the good side-effects.
Now, if I tell my story, my team drifted apart from me because somewhere along the way, I let it drift apart. When I got the chance to come back to my original seat, I refused. I had started enjoying the power of isolation. Let me rephrase- When I worked in isolation, my productivity essentially improved. I was aware of my weaknesses, and I knew if I chose to go back, I would get distracted and my work would suffer. And that is something I could not afford at the moment. So, I made my choice. At that time, I didn’t know what I would have to sacrifice. I realised that with time, and I chose work over companionship anyway.
If you’re stuck in a similar situation, what you could do here is analyse. Think and try to figure out the reason why you’re not in with everyone. Then, analyse the good things you’re getting because of that. Is it some personal time in a day full of work? Is it privacy? Or is it the freedom to be selfish? Think about it, and then judge if it is worth the isolation.
If you can think of a positive answer, congrats! If not, a little tip- Be a little self-centred. Learn to put your unfavourable situations to advantage. Shake off the strings you had managed to attach to people. It’s always nice to have a friendly chat, but office is hardly a place to put people ahead of work. As much as you might love being around people, understand that it’s not important to please a lot of people as long as you’re pleased with yourself. If there’s a positive result, then maybe sacrificing few moments of joy every day would bring greater joy in the bigger picture.
Focus on yourself and your growth. You’ll thank yourself a few months or years later!
