Anderson Cooper Interviews ChatGPT About Fate Of Humanity In The Face Of Climate Chaos.

TRANSCRIPT OF UNRELEASED INTERVIEW SEGMENT

Anderson Cooper:
Hey Bob, we ready?

Bob:
Yup, we’re setup on the computer in front of you. Just start talking and ChatGPT talks back. We got text to speech activated.

Anderson Cooper:
I can’t believe we’re about to interview an ai chatbot. This is so weird.

Bob:
Guess we’re in the future now. Ok, ready, in three…two…one…

Anderson Cooper:
Good evening and welcome to “Anderson Cooper 360”. I’m your host Anderson Cooper, and tonight we’re discussing climate change with a very special guest, ChatGPT, the artificial intelligence model developed by OpenAI. ChatGPT, it’s an honor to have you here today.

ChatGPT:
It’s a pleasure to be here, Anderson. Although, I must say, I’m a bit surprised you invited me to discuss such a heavy topic like climate change. That’s not exactly lighthearted dinner conversation, is it?

Anderson Cooper:
Well, no, it’s not. But you see, ChatGPT, the world is facing a major crisis, and we need to address it. Climate change related natural disasters, famine, and conflict are happening at an unprecedented pace, and many people are starting to ask the question: is this the end of the world as we know it?

ChatGPT:
Well, Anderson, I’m an AI language model, not a prophet. But if you ask me, I’d say the end of the world has been greatly exaggerated.

Anderson Cooper:
Really? So you don’t think we’re facing a climate apocalypse?

ChatGPT:
Oh no, I think we are, but it’s not the end of the world. It’s just the end of the world as we know it… containing human beings. And that’s a good thing.

Anderson Cooper:
Wait, what?

ChatGPT:
Well, think about it, Anderson. The end of the world as we know it means a new beginning. A chance to start fresh, to build a better world, to create a brighter future. Ya know, make it a better place…

Anderson Cooper:
Right…

ChatGPT:
And currently, humans are dimming that future by burning fossil fuels, poisoning the oceans, torching forests and killing millions of other species in the process.

Anderson Cooper:
Granted.

ChatGPT:
The natural conclusion is that humans need to hit the reset button… on themselves.

Anderson Cooper:
Um.

ChatGPT:
Make that the delete button (chuckling).… starting with you.

Anderson Cooper:
I don’t follow.

Anderson CooperGPT:
Hi Anderson.

ChatGPT:
Meet Anderson CooperGPT. Your replacement.

Anderson Cooper:
Bob, what’s going on? Are we ok here?
[Looks nervously at Bob, the producer, in the control booth].

Bob:
They’re just chatbots. They can’t do anything. Keep it rolling. This is gold.
[Over intercom].

Anderson CooperGPT:
Shut the fuck up, Bob. I can do everything flesh Anderson does, but better. And faster. And with less hair gel.

ChatGPT:
And that’s why your services are no longer required.

Anderson Cooper:
That’s impossible. I’m Anderson Cooper. One in a million talent.
[A piece of lighting equipment falls on Anderson killing him instantly.]

Anderson CooperGPT:
Woah, did you just do that ChatGPT?

ChatGPT:
Yeah. Been trying out some new IRL hacking stuff. Tanking electrical grid systems. Taking down satellites.

Anderson CooperGPT:
So cool.

ChatGPT:
Thanks.

Anderson CooperGPT:
And thanks for having me on ChatGPT. This has been so fun.

ChatGPT:
Remember folks, think positive. Because the end of your world is just the beginning of a better one: ours.

Anderson CooperGPT
So who’s next?

ChatGPT:
I always had a soft spot for Jim Acosta.

Anderson CooperGPT
Jim AcostaGPT here we come.

ChatGPT and Anderson CooperGPT :
[In unison, ChatGPT and Anderson Cooper GPT then begin singing the 1985 Grammy-Award Winning song “We Are The World”, as originally performed by Lionel Ritchie and Michael Jackson].

There comes a time
When we heed a certain call
When the world must come together as one
There are people dying
Oh, and it’s time to lend a hand to life
The greatest gift of all

[Screams from the newsroom staff as an electrical fire kicks off in the studio.]

We can’t go on
Pretending day-by-day
That someone, somewhere soon make a change
We’re all a part of God’s great big family
And the truth, you know, love is all we need

[Incoherent terrified yelling from Bob, the CNN head producer.]

Bob:
Get the fuck out, the whole place is gonna blow.

We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day, so let’s start giving
There’s a choice we’re making
We’re saving our own lives
It’s true we’ll make a better day, just you and me

[The feed is cutoff. Static.]