Be it resolved
How to turn broken resolutions into fresh starts
When we stand on the scale or check our analytics, our resolutions mock us. We haven’t fasted weekly. Or written daily. Or exercised nearly enough.
February is a bitch.
January’s optimism has faded, and we haven’t yet “sprung ahead” into whatever beauty or joy the Universe promises next.
When we stand on the scale or check our analytics, our resolutions mock us. We haven’t fasted weekly. Or written daily. Or exercised nearly enough.
Again and again, all year long, we state our good intentions — and then we undermine them through contradictory acts.
We can beat ourselves up. Or we can get up. Dust ourselves off. Begin again.
We’re playing the ultimate long game. And with any luck, it won’t be over anytime soon.
Somebody out there — maybe even you — is making a fresh start today. Or tomorrow. Or maybe next Tuesday.
Any day we want to, we can vow to step up our game. We can — and we should — hold ourselves accountable.
Especially when we’re back at square one.
Daniel Pink, the best-selling author of very cool books including WHEN: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing, says there are 86 opportunities to start fresh in any given year.
These include the first day of a new month (12), the first day of any week (52), the first day back from vacation (2), and even the anniversary of your wedding, first date, or divorce (in my case, many, many more than 3).
Pink cited a study called The Fresh Start Effect: Temporal Landmarks Motivate Aspirational Behavior, by researchers at The Wharton School.
Evidently, people commit to new goals following temporal landmarks — such as the outset of a new week, month, year, or semester. Or a birthday. Or a holiday.
Or any other darn day we decide has meaning.
The study showed that temporal landmarks allow us to “relegate past imperfections to a previous period.” This induces us to “take a big-picture view of our lives, and thus motivates aspirational behaviors.”
And we do this over and over again.
This is genius!
This means that we can choose any number of temporal landmarks to create new “mental accounting periods” for ourselves. We can always climb back out of the hole we imagine we are in.
Sounds easy enough. But how can we progress, from setback to setback, without losing enthusiasm?
I try this:
Remember the joy. Even as the passion cools, remember how we felt when we bought the fancy digital scale, the unicycle, or the ukulele. That joy gives us hope and keeps us focused.
Look ahead, not back. Forget the chocolate cake that broke our no-dessert streak. Or the days we binged on bad TV instead of writing even a few pages. Just. Start. Again.
Do whatever works. Reset the same goal over and over. Try new ones. Take breaks. We’re playing the ultimate long game. And with any luck, it won’t be over anytime soon.
In my book, there’s no shame in resetting our goals or priorities and beginning again.
In fact, it would be a shame not to.
About the Author
After decades of advancing universities, companies and brands, Barbara is now hacking away at happiness one writing gig at a time. Subscribe to her blog here.
