How the Opinions of Others Shape your Reality

Skip the misery of overthinking and nurture your real self

Photo by De'Andre Bush on Unsplash

Comparison is a cruel trap that is eating our true versions day by day. You’ve always been told that you’re not worth of doing anything or you can’t do something different as its not accepted by our so called “cultural society”. I have been tired of listening to the shitty opinions of people saying that I’m not worth doing a business, I am not fair enough, I need to put on some weight and so on. The opinions of others are sometimes so heart wrenching that it urges you to change your real identity and mask yourselves with a fake persona. These days, getting bullied for being fat, thin, ugly, dark skinned ,sensitive, mentally ill has became a common crime being committed by the illterate people. And one more thing that adds crisp to the story, is the upcoming revolution of social media that is forcing us to become someone else in order to fit in the socitieal norms.

Recently I was reading a fiction book where the brother of protagonist commits sucide because his parents discovered his Homosexual identity. It’s not a new thing to hear about the sucides being committed because of mental pressure to not reach to the standard norms. The harsh judgements of people is shaping your present and forcing you to convert yourself into a human that you can’t even stand by for a second. But, have you ever thought about it from the divine perspective? The Lord has given you this life to not waste it and think about what others might be thinking of you. You have been given this beautiful Journey to live, to explore, to do what you love, to enjoy the little moments and most importantly to uplift others.

Overthinking is a fancy kind of mental illness that is gulping your faith in yourself. When was the last time you were thinking about a small thing and suddenly it turned out to be a major disastrous thought that developed a pool of negative emotions for you? I’m sure it must’ve happened later than a few seconds ago, right? Just think about it again..

The trap of overthinking is so vicious that it holds the power of stopping you from doing anything better. These days, The way we look ourselves depends on the judgements of others and not on our personal feelings. For instance, One day you planned to go for an outing and choose to wear your favouraite dress which was not your fit but you badly wanted to wear. but, your inner voice started screaming and suggested you to not opt for it as people mght find you ugly and fat in that dress. and guess what, you will do exactly what you inner voice said. But, have you ever thinked in the other way, that so what if i’m not fit for the dress but atleast ill feel confident after wearing it. and who cares about the opinons of others?! The life will be so much better if we do what we love and enjoy the things from our own real perspectives.

Now, The real question arises as to how avoid the unwanted suggestions from others let define you. The quest of adopting your real nature is not as easy as it might seem. There will be times when you will feel depressed and under confident, but those are too the times to rise and let your inner self shine brighter the darkness of hate and misery.

If you want to Skip the ugly race of an judgemental world, you need to nurture the truth and trust in yourself. People might hate for not being like them but with time they will realize that whatever you did was right and they were wrong to judge you and make false opinions about you. You need to make yourself so stronger that none of the words can impact your core. believe, faith and trust are the pillars of adoption of your real identity. No matter what your family, friends, strangers, relatives, collagaues may think of you; you need to have the confidence in your body, mind, tone and presence.

Here are some ways to skip your overthinking habit and develop a personality that you can adore -

1. Spread love wherever you go — Yes, I know this may sound very difficult but it’s the harsh truth and only those people judge others who are hollow from within. And if you will spread your love with them and even respect the negatives of them, they will surely change their outlook towards everyting.
2. Avoid the trap of negativity — If you are contiously being judged by some known or unknown people then it’s better to leave their company and avoid them fully. As we give ourselves the time to heal and intake positve things in life; the people who even bad mouth about you will change thier opinions.
3. Don’t adopt the habit of judgement — There are many incidents where people tend to become like others after hearing their opinions about them. but, do you know that by adopting such judgemtal behaviour you’re not doing any good to the society and ain’t making any huge difference. If you want to live a life of peace and freedom then please give the space to others too. respect thier decions and make sure to not put unesscary opinions that can hurt them. Cultivate the habit of kindess and empathy.
4. Stop thinking too much — Sometimes, it’s not always the mistake of others. we often procasinate a lot and in our heads create a world which is full of negativity and sadness. But, before thinking too much make sure to understand the importance of the topic you’re giving your too much time. For instance, If you are thinking about how to present yourself on your first date is actually as stupid as thinking about what to eat in lunch.. pardon me, but we humans have the inherited habit of diving into the Depth of a small situation and to come with the worst possible scenario.
5. Breath, relax and forgive — I know some words can’t ever be forgotten even when you try your best. but, life is not meant to live this way. you need to move on from the harsh past, hug the brighter journey of life lying ahead of you. You need to cultivate the habit of forgiveness. Just letting go is the best thing we can do to overcome the limits of the life. Don’t take the opinions of others too seriously and just enjoy this little game called life.

Conclusion -

Life is not always the same. Somedays will come up with teachings, others will come with heart throbbing facts and some will break you from inside. But, what matters the most is how you deal with those days. it’s completely in your hands to take the opinions with youself till your death or just forget everything and spread the love as much as you can. Always rememeber that to forgive others is the biggest thing you can gift your future self. Make yourself so strong and vibrant that none can shatter you. Just have faith in lord and keep going and growing always.

THANK YOU!

With love,

Ishika.