Only You Can Be The Judge Of That
You judge. I judge. We judge others. They judge us. We all do it.
Why do we judge? It’s a habit in most cases. It can start as simply a way to bond or connect with people. Have you noticed when you talk about someone else, most people will gladly chime in. I’m guilty as charged.
Judging hurts other people, makes you feel worse about yourself, perpetuates stereotypes, can lead to losing friends, damages your health/happiness, makes you less open to new experiences, and sends negative vibes into the world. Judgment of others is a reflection of our own insecurities. When I have judged others, I feel badly about it after. I don’t feel good about myself…not even for a second. And I certainly wouldn’t want to be judged because I’ve always believed in the idea of treating others how I would want to be treated.
“It’s not what you look at that matters. It’s what you see.”
~Henry David Thoreau
Have you noticed how people lash out and judge each other via social media outlets? Someone may share an opinion about something or have a question about an issue and the responses are incredibly obnoxious, rude, and judgmental. I think to myself, “Why do they even respond? If they can’t find anything nice to say, why can’t they refrain from responding?” I suspect that by making someone else feel bad, the violator gets a sense of satisfaction or gratification which may help them (only temporarily) cope with their own difficulties, insecurities, hardships, and struggles.
Judgment happens everywhere…at school, on the playground, in the news, at church, at sporting events, on social media. Most offenders judge others without actually knowing what the victim is experiencing in their own life or what weight they are carrying on their shoulders. After all, no one feels good after being bullied or judged regardless if you are the victim or violator. Replacing judgment with kindness, empathy, and compassion may help violators deal with their own struggles in a more positive way and may even eliminate some of the difficulties they have in their own lives.
I have come to learn that if you are 100% happy with who you are, you are a lot less likely to feel the need to judge others. I also know that judging others causes a great deal of unhappiness within us. It relates completely to how we feel about ourselves. The more we judge ourselves, the more we’ll judge others. In most cases, we judge others in order to feel better about ourselves because we are lacking self-love and self-acceptance. If we could genuinely embrace and love ourselves as we truly are we would no longer need a reason to put someone else down just to raise ourselves up. Self-love…it is so important and powerful. If we could all learn to love ourselves, we would make our world a much more compassionate and much less judgmental place.
We usually judge others in the areas where we feel the weakest. Let’s be real…do you know anyone who is completely secure with him/herself who also harshly judges other people saying things like… “Look at that lady laughing all of the time, she’s so phony.” or “Why can’t that mother control her unruly kids on an airplane?” Our judgments reveal our soft spots. Our insecurities. Our weaknesses. Our ignorance. And usually, we harshly judge others because we do the same to ourselves.
I have a few Confetti 🎉 tips that help me to stop judging:
1.) Look at the positive: While your mind might immediately focus on the negative, try to push your thoughts in a more positive direction and look for something nice to say. If you can’t find something nice to say, don’t say it at all.🔻🔹🔸
2.) Focus on your own life: Hone in on what you want and go after it. When you’re trying to avoid your own problems, it’s easy to criticize others. Don’t! Look at your own behavior. 🔹🔻🔸
3.) Remember how it feels: Judgment is really such an ugly thing. Remember how it feels to be judged. And remember how it felt the last time you judged someone else. Take time to get to know someone and their story. It is important to be kind, it is important to show compassion, and it is important to be empathetic. 🔸🔹🔻
