Why habits changed my life and not my passion.
My journey in personal development began properly in 2016. Up til then I was just taking life as it came, not having any idea about what I’d like my future to look like. But things started changed from late 2015 to the summer of 2016. I went on a couple of trips with friends; the first to Boston and New York, the next to Greece. What hit me on both trips was the riches some people possessed, from the helicopters and private jets flying around Cape Cod to the yachts parked up by the Greek islands, my first thought was “how smart you needed to be to get this rich”.
But after months of the typical “how smart do I need to be to become rich” etc Google searches and Quora questions, I (thankfully) realised that wouldn’t get me anywhere. I eventually stumbled across a Youtube video with the first piece of actionable wisdom I came across. The guy who said that in the video was a man named Warren Buffett, one of the richest men in the world.
It’s not about how smart you are. It’s about your habits.
For some reason that struck a cord with me. Everywhere I turn now in 2019 people are talking about habits but back then it seemed like the only advice given to people was “find your passion”. While I agree with that now, at the time it wasn’t something very actionable for me. My passion? You mean drinking you the guys every Saturday and Sunday? Or playing soccer video games in the evenings after college or work? How could I say I had any passions if this was what I was getting up to.
Habits clicked with me because they sounded like something I could learn or change, they were actionable. They were something I could study within myself easier.
I’d grown up with some things in my life that seemed to constantly follow me, people including my parents would say “you’ll start something alright but you won’t follow through”. I’d come across something online or elsewhere and after one hour I’d tell everyone that this is what I’m working on these days but ask me a week later and I’d huff and puff and come up with some excuse as to why it would never work.
It was something that played on my mind, it didn’t necessarily get me down but it felt like an itch. “Why do you say all this shit and do nothing about it?”. All that following your passion stuff would give me a buzz for a day but that wouldn’t last much longer.
Why? I wasn’t ready. Ever hear the phrase, “the teacher will appear when the student is ready”? That’s what that video talking about habits was for me. It wasn’t about my IQ, it was my habits. The habits would then allow my IQ to be put to best effect.
So I started to look at my habits which I felt were holding me back and put together a hit list:
- Cut down on alcohol
- Stop snoozing my alarms
- Stop wasting time playing video games
- Stop wasting time watching TV
In essence I came up with my first “Not-To-Do List” long before I ever came across the idea Tim Ferriss talks about. Why this list? It just seemed like these were the things that I wouldn’t expect someone who’s successful or rich doing, they wouldn’t let themselves waste this much time on things that wouldn’t get them anywhere, so this was my first step.
Initially this was just something I had in my head, I never actually wrote that list out but I began to catch myself anytime I was doing any of the four above and telling myself “this is why you’ve done nothing, you won’t change til you stop doing this over and over”.
It was tough. But I eventually came up with a plan that I’d start substituting the above behaviors and habits with better ones.
- Instead of drinking alcohol so much I’d try go do something fun on a Saturday night that didn’t involve it.
- Instead of snoozing my alarms I tried (a lot) to become more realistic with the time I needed to get up and also have something important to do the next morning.
- Instead of playing video games and watching TV I would start reading books about something I wanted to learn more about.
Again, this took time to get better at. There was no measure taken, I hadn’t such knowledge yet, it was more a one good week- three bad weeks arrangement. But a few months later I saw how much better my life felt.
- My college grades improved massively
- I became fitter
- I started to surround myself with amazing people online who were years ahead of me in terms of personal development
- My mindset radically improved, I’d less time for laziness, now I hadn’t enough hours in the day
It turned out to be just the start.
Passion gives some motivation now and then. Habits give momentum. When both face off over a long period of time there is only one winner if your habits are good.
