Stop complaining and take responsibility if you want to go further
Don´t complain. Complaining doesn´t lead to anything. And it doesn´t actually matter what your circumstances are, complaining is never the solution. Complaining will never give you solutions to anything, and on top of that, complaining as all sorts of negative side effects, such as putting you in a bad, expectant mindset, and alienate people around you.
“If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.”
― Theodore Roosevelt
Instead, take responsibility for the situation, and you will start to see solutions. Start looking at what you could have done differently, and you will be on your way towards avoiding ending up in that same situation that you are currently in. Complaining about it, however, will not.
Taking responsibility is hard
Finding it hard to assume responsibility? So you are saying that you have never done anything, or could ever have done anything that would have changed your current circumstances?
“I hate that bus driver, he always drives away just in front of me even though he sees me coming!”.
Solution: Get out of the door 10 minutes earlier and stand there ready when he comes, so he doesn´t get the chance.
“John Doe got that promotion instead of me because he is such a suck up, and my boss falls for it!”
Solution: If someone gets a promotion you were aiming for you, look at why they did so, and see what you can learn from it. Become a “suck up” yourself, or put in a different way, be better at appealing to your boss, be better at showcasing your work, be better at sending the right signals at the right times.
“I never have time to finish my projects on time because I always have to do everybody else´s work!”
Solution: Talk to those other people´s work you are having to do and explain that you would like to find a way to ensure that the communication/workflows/teamwork or whatever it may be work better, as you are finding it hard to do both your own work and that. Or go to your boss and explain that the due dates are unrealistic, as you are having a lot of other work to do as well,
“The victim mindset dilutes the human potential. By not accepting personal responsibility for our circumstances, we greatly reduce our power to change them.”
― Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience
Focus only on what you can change, what is in your sphere of influence and learn from analyzing and reflecting on what you could have done differently to avoid your situation, nothing else. And if you need other people to change, then focus on how YOU can influence them to change, and if you can´t (hint: you nearly always can), then YOU are responsible for changing the circumstances for yourself entirely.
It Always falls back on you, so never blame, take responsibility and go out and make the necessary change to get what you want instead of becoming a loser who complains and blames others for your own inability to do what is needed.
“This is your life. You are responsible for it. You will not live forever. Don’t wait.”
― Natalie Goldberg
“What if I can´t get to a job interview because of a freak storm, should I then also blame myself”. If you are going to be spending time trying to find freak situations where the above doesn´t apply, you haven´t learned a single thing from this and have the mindset of a person who will find excuses and fail to take control of your own circumstances.
“A cucumber is bitter. Throw it away. There are briars in the road. Turn aside from them. This is enough. Do not add, ‘And why were such things made in the world?’”
― Marcus Aurelius
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Originally published at bettertoday.club on February 4, 2018.