Write Your Own End-of-Life Script: Take The Death Literacy Challenge.
When people become death literate, family members, doctors and caregivers are never left guessing about how someone wants their last days to unfold. I realize the end is not something anyone really wants to spend time thinking about, but writing one’s end-of-life script is actually an act of kindness — and not as hard, or scary, as you might imagine.
Based on the belief that it’s healthier to engage with fear of death rather than deny the end-of-life, I created this simple quiz to help friends and clients better prepare, long before the end. Becoming and being death literate means death is spoken about honestly, compassionately and even with a bit of humor!
So start by answering Yes or No to these 10 questions, then tally up your points.
1- Have you ever watched a film where a character was dying or died (for example, Steel Magnolias, Coco, Harold & Maude, Up, Heaven Can Wait, The Fault in Our Stars)?
2- Do you agree with the statement, “Death is always painful”?
3- Are you afraid of dying?
4- Have you experienced the loss of someone very close to you?
5- Have you had a first-hand experience with hospice care — say, via friends or family?
6- Have you thought about preparing for death?
7- Have you taken any steps to get ready?
8- Have you explicitly told someone your plans regarding your own death?
9- Do you agree that having a conversation with a loved one (partner or adult child) is a beneficial step in terms of end-of-life planning?
10- Are you ready to commit to next steps and prepare for planning your end of life?
SCORING
1- Have you ever watched a film where a character was dying or died? If you answered yes, you get 1 point.
These films are well-regarded and well-reviewed; they are enjoyable entertainment and reflect that death is part of daily life — a valuable step towards death literacy. Even better: Discussing the movie and how you felt about the kind of death portrayed — and thinking about what qualities you’d like your end of life to embrace.
2- Is death is always painful? If you answered no, give yourself 1 point.
Unfortunately, modern culture makes talking or even thinking about dying painful. If you said yes, give yourself permission to challenge that notion.
3- Are you afraid of dying? Yes earns you 1 point.
This is completely normal! But death is a part of life. Planning for it can make it a calm and rewarding time to say goodbye to loved ones and can ease their burdens and grief, as well as your own.
Did you say no? You also get 1 point.
That is wonderful to hear. A big part of being able to prepare #longbeforetheend is to accept death as part of life and not let fear keep you from making appropriate plans and decisions. Those steps will heighten your likelihood of dying in a good mental state, surrounded by those you love.
4- Have you lost someone very close to you? Yes equals 1 point.
Being close to someone at the end of their life helps you learn about end of life by observation and osmosis.
5- Have you had a first-hand experience with hospice care? Yes earns you 1 point.
You have probably seen first-hand that hospice care is not the stereotype so many of us have been exposed to. The word hospice doesn’t mean immediate death, it doesn’t aim to hasten death, and it many times ends with the patient being released after a period of months as they have not naturally declined into death. Learn more about what hospice care really involves here.
6- Have you thought about preparing for death? Yes is worth 1 point.
If you have allowed yourself to think about your own passing, that earns you a point on our death literacy tally. Simply engaging with the topic — admitting your hopes and fears to yourself — helps you prepare for end of life long before the end. If you move out of death denial, you are considering your legacy and helping those around you recalibrate their relationship with mortality.
7- Have you taken steps to get ready? Give yourself 1 point for answering yes.
Receive additional bonus points for completing each one of these steps: (1) advance care directive/living will (2) designating a health care proxy (3) filling out POLST and MOLST forms (the latter are state-specific; find yours by searching for “MOLST” and “your state’s name.”)
8- Have you told someone your plans regarding your own death? If you said yes, receive 1 point.
You have probably seen first-hand that hospice care is not the stereotype so many of us have been exposed to. The word hospice doesn’t mean immediate death, it doesn’t aim to hasten death, and it many times ends with the patient being released after a period of months as they have not naturally declined into death. Learn more about what hospice care really involves here.
9. Are end-of-life conversations beneficial? If your answer is yes, give yourself 1 point.
Sharing your wishes with others lessens the burden of uncertainty for those closest to you and gives them permission to also become death literate.
10. Are you ready to take the next steps? Yes earns you 1 point.
Bonus Point: Give yourself a point for just answering all ten questions!
Bonus Point: Earn a point by joining the death literacy movement.
Bonus Point: Share the Death Literacy Challenge link on your social feed.
SCORECARD
0–3: Preparing for death does not invite death to your doorstep, rather, it helps you to decide what matters most and lets others know how to take care of you. Deciding what matters most to you and then communicating those decisions takes time. Just by taking this quiz, you’ve started the process #longbeforetheend. Now would be a good time to visit bevival.com. We’ve got lots of interesting articles and videos — ideas and content that will help you get comfortable with the conversation.
4–7: Congratulations, you are someone who is #preparingtoprepare. There are two parts to preparing: legal and emotional. Most people acknowledge the legalities but pay little attention to ensuring their personal values are taken into account. Planning #longbeforetheend leads to better outcomes, both from a health and medical treatment perspective, and from an emotional perspective. Here are two helpful links: advance health-care planning and living will.
8+: Impressive! You are a person who has achieved a high level of death literacy by planning well in one or more meaningful ways. We invite you to become a vocal ambassador, meet other curious and organized folks who committed to #dodeathdifferently.
