Beyoncé’s Stages of Grief

Dictonary.com defines grief as “keen mental suffering or distress over affliction or loss; sharp sorrow; painful regret”. According to a Swiss psychiatrist named Kübler-Ross, there is a five stage model that people go through when experiencing grief. Initially, the model was critiqued because not everyone goes through these exact stages when grieving. Kübler-Ross later clarifies that this is not a linear model. In fact, some people may not experience any of the stages and others may only go through two or three. Today, Kübler-Ross’s model is known as being the most commonly observed by those experiencing grief. We can connect these five stages to Beyoncé’s visual album Lemonade where she responds to her husband, Jay Z, cheating on her.

Stage 1: Denial: “Survive the Loss”

The first stage of Kübler-Ross’s model is denial. In this stage, people tend to deny the loss and are in a state of shock. It is an effective way to initially cope with emotions. Some people say they “go numb” or are not living in “actual reality”. In Lemonade, Beyoncé uses work from Warsan Shire to write the poem “Denial”. She voices over “[I] tried to be soft, prettier/Less…awake” similar to going “numb”. We also see Beyoncé in a vulnerable position as she is kneeling on the stage and praying. After finding out about her husband’s affair, Beyoncé tries not to accept what happened and is undoubtedly showing signs of being in this denial stage. This is evident in Shire’s other poem “Fire”, a piece included in Teaching My Mother How to Give Birth, about a struggling mother to leave her abusive partner. The mother tries to justify or deny that the physical abuse is ok because “he pays the bills at night”.

Stage 2: Anger: “Life’s Not Fair”

The second stage is anger. This is when people begin to enter “actual” reality again and become angry at the world or people. This stage is actually encouraged by researchers and mental health professionals as to not suppress emotions. Beyoncé has an actual chapter of her visual album titled “Anger” and uses visuals of fire and the color red to symbolize her anger. She sings “Don’t Hurt Yourself” which includes a lot of cursing, one line saying “fuck you hater”. It is evident that Beyoncé is portraying this stage of anger towards Jay Z. We also see anger in Warsan Shire’s “Fire”. The title itself alludes to anger.

Stage 3: Bargaining: “False Hope”

Bargaining is the next stage of Kübler-Ross’s model. In this stage people falsely make themselves think they can avoid grief by negotiating, specifically with God in an attempt to change what has happened. Here, people are willing to make major life changes and ask themselves endless “what if” statements. Beyoncé’s “Sandcastles” shows this shift in stages from anger to bargaining. The scene is very peaceful and we see shots of Beyoncé and Jay Z back together, but Beyoncé sings “every promise don’t work out that way,” which contradicts the visual aspect of the album.

Stage 4: Depression: “Emptiness”

Stage four is depression where people are living in reality and may withdraw from life. This is evident in Beyoncé’s Lemonade as she is caught in between moving on and being depressed. We see this stage in her “Forgiveness” chapter with shots in black and white and Beyoncé sitting alone signing “Sandcastles”. We also see this in her “Emptiness” chapter where we see her lying alone in bed. She voices over “she sleeps all day, dreams of you in both worlds”. Sleep is another sign of depression as she is trying to void this emptiness with her dreams.

Stage 5: Acceptance: “New Reality”

The last stage of grief is acceptance. In this stage emotions begin to stabilize and people come to terms with this new reality. We see Beyoncé go through this stage as she sings “Freedom” on a different stage. What is interesting about this scene is that there are fire pots around the edge of the stage. It seems as if now the fire or “anger” is contained. Additional visuals later in the album of other couples celebrating and Blue Ivy and Jay Z show that Beyoncé is moving forward with her grief and accepting what has happened. She is “going to heal [and] start again”. The album takes an upward turn as Beyoncé and Jay Z accept their new reality.