09.23.18 — Starting Back Up
I haven’t written on Medium in a really long time. Almost a year long. Long enough that I don’t yet feel I deserve to brand myself as a Writer on my bio or my website, or even bring up to other people that I write on Medium or I write articles or blog or do any of this.
But that’s not why I want to do this — so that I don’t feel as fake or that I’m not living up to the bar I set for myself. That’s not why I want to start writing again. It’s because I’ve really missed it. The feeling of connectedness with other people who read my work. Putting myself out there in public and not fearing, or not worrying, about the reception. Just having a space where I can say what’s on my mind with the excitement that it’s possibly hundreds or thousands of people can read my work, but with the humble, appreciative, realization that it’s extremely unlikely this is going to be the piece that makes it big. It’s getting back into that rhythm, that flow, I once talked about and it’s finally starting to diversify myself away from simply software development into another promising venture that makes me excited and energetic.
As I’ve written before, whether it be in my previous stories or my 2018 series that failed to make it through the first half of 2018, I want to get into a pattern. I think my shortcomings in the past, however, were that I expected myself to write an article or an update every day, even on those when I didn’t have anything to say.
That’s not the same for this time around. I don’t want to write every day. I want to spend my nights after work working on what I care about, whether that be my website, my personal projects, reading a book, writing on Medium, or just re-watching Avatar: The Last Airbender for the 7th time. I’m going to let the inspiration come to me instead, and I’m going to write when I have the urge to do so. I’m going to be more spontaneous and more considerate of my own time and energy, and I’m going to make this work.
This is my first post in almost a year, and I’m excited to say more likely than not, I won’t be posting another one tomorrow. But I will post again, whether it be later this week or next week or next month. I’m back, and I’m here to stay.
Also, my articles won’t really be too introspective anymore, especially not the ones in more established publications. I like getting my thoughts out there, but I think some of the more personal ones can just stay in my Evernote. This publication is my own so I can do whatever, but I imagine this will transition more into writing practice or getting out my thoughts when I really want to but I don’t want many to see them. I don’t know. But it’s great. 😄
EDIT:
It’s crazy how I wrote almost the same exact first paragraph last November when I said I was going to start back up again. It kinda tells me I need to start following through on my word, but I also just need to have the inspiration to keep writing what I care about. And so I need to find what I care about, how I can translate my thoughts and experiences into words and articles, and not be afraid or too busy to post. LET’S GO.
