#10 | When Was the Last Time You Were Happy?

Rahul Rangnekar
Jul 27, 2017 · 2 min read

As far as I can remember, I’ve never felt 100% happy at any given time. It’s like there’s always something in the back of my mind that I remember that keeps me grounded and sober from extreme elation. It’s not necessarily a bad thing — it’s good to keep yourself grounded — but when you’re holding yourself down with cinderblocks so that you can’t even reach 25% happiness, what happens?

You lose yourself. You start thinking it’s you against the world, that nobody likes you or will ever like you, that you can’t do it, you’re not smart enough, you don’t know enough, you’re not a good enough communicator, not a good enough developer, writer, listener, etc. Negative thoughts pervade your mind with no escape. You heat up quickly. You stop feeling for others and start doing things that help you release, if only for a short period of time. You lose yourself.

But after deep deep introspection and practice, you find a way out of it. You start asking yourself “why?”. Why am I so unhappy? Why is this holding me down? Why am I holding myself down? Why can’t I do it? You question yourself more and more until you’re forced to come up with answers and hold yourself accountable. You’re unhappy because you compare yourself to others. This is holding you down because you’re stuck in the past and both excited but fearful about the future. You’re not living in the present, and so you think incessantly about the things you could’ve done or the things you will do, but not the things you are doing.

And then you straighten up. You forgive yourself for the past and let the future come to you. You work hard every day in the present, and you live every day in the present. You have plans, but you don’t plan too far ahead where you’re just jumping through hoops. You find your balance and you realize your capabilities. You focus on your strengths and forget about your weaknesses. You become grateful for everything and everyone around you.

And then you bring that number up from 25% to 90%. You treat events separately. You can be sad about one thing but extremely happy about another. And that keeps you going through the hard times. You live in the moment.

And then you write an article on Medium.

Today, I’m thankful for medicine. The past few weeks have been a physical struggle after a back injury while weightlifting made it hard to move and a knee injury while running made it hard to walk. Medicine has helped me out throughout this past week, and so I’m thankful it exists, my doctor prescribed it, and I could afford it (because of my parents and insurance).

Beyond Limits

Life’s perspective from a 21-year-old. A 100-day challenge to push myself beyond what I thought was possible. To be as inquisitive and uncomfortable as possible. To find and follow a life of peace, courage, determination, and gratitude.

Rahul Rangnekar

Written by

Software Developer && Writer, UC Berkeley Computer Science & Economics graduate

Beyond Limits

Life’s perspective from a 21-year-old. A 100-day challenge to push myself beyond what I thought was possible. To be as inquisitive and uncomfortable as possible. To find and follow a life of peace, courage, determination, and gratitude.

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade