What Actions Did Women Who Were Harassed In Silicon Valley Take… And, What Would They Do Differently?

In an earlier post, I shared the finding that 6 in 10 women in Silicon Valley have been subjected to an unwanted sexual advance. High-profile cases, such as Ellen Pao’s lawsuit against Kleiner Perkins, and Susan Fowler’s blog detailing the harassment to which she was subjected at Uber are well known. We wanted to understand how these very common — yet seldom discussed — instances of workplace harassment were reported and resolved, and whether women had advice on what to do differently.

We asked the women from The Elephant in the Valley survey who had been subjected to an unwanted sexual advance, what actions they took afterwards.

Only 2% took legal action.

Only 10% spoke to HR, and 15% spoke to their direct supervisor.

More common actions were:

- Speaking directly to the person who was harassing me to address the issue — 30%

- Speaking to a friend or colleague about it, but only in an unofficial capacity — 40%

Some women took multiple action, but I find disheartening the fact that so many women in Silicon Valley took no action — not even speaking to a trusted friend or colleague.

The most commonly stated reasons for taking no action were “just wanting to forget about it” (39% of women who had been subjected to an unwanted advance) and “I was afraid this would negatively impact my career” (36%). Other reasons for not taking action were “I didn’t think that reporting it would make a difference (32%) and “I was too embarrassed” (13%).

Unsurprisingly, only 1 in 6 women were satisfied with the course of action that they took. They offered good advice on what they might do differently if they were subjected to an unwanted advance today:

What Would You Have Done Differently?

These were responses from women who were more confident that their companies (or authorities) would do the right thing.

“Reported this asshole to the police.”

“Been more vocal and not backed down when I was told there was nothing to investigate”

“I would have been explicit that not only was I not interested, but that it was inappropriate behavior to tell me about his interest.”

“I should have raised it at the board level.”

“I probably would have gotten a lawyer. In worst case, everyone (men and a female head of HR) said ‘do you want to be that woman?’ and ‘this too shall pass’. What total crap.”

“I spoke to my manager unofficially as a confidant (I was grossed out but doubted myself) but she wasn’t shocked; sounded like she and others had experienced similar behavior. He was let go not too long afterwards, so I’d probably speak up officially and not doubt myself next time.”

Unfortunately, many women were still not confident that they would get proper resolution or were still afraid of having their careers negatively impacted.

“I wish that I had confidence that the company would have handled it well. I know they wouldn’t have done anything (at best); at worst, I expect that reporting would have negatively impacted my career there.”

“Call it out and challenge the person more directly, in addition to reporting it to HR. Although doing that has ALSO gotten me in trouble from HR, so it’s a lose-lose situation.”

“I don’t know if I would have done anything differently. I’ve survived this long, and there’s not too many people my age left. Would I have been able to make it if I hadn’t shut my mouth and sucked it up?”

“I would leave. The negative impact on my reputation and career, in my experience, far outweighs the impact on the person doing the harassment.”

“HR did not have a helpful or supportive reputation so there was nowhere to take these issues. This was true across industries/companies.”

“Not much. If I wanted to have a career in technology, I needed to “play along”. That has not changed. Those who have spoken out have changed direction and are not working in their field within tech.”

“I am not sure what I could have done differently. He was very powerful and would have had me black-balled.”

Next post I am going to describe the “Goldilocks Syndrome” in Silicon Valley — Women being told they are too aggressive AND too quiet…