What is Adding to Working Moms’ Stress During COVID times?

Yesterday, I published insights on the overall stress level that working moms are feeling during the COVID-19 pandemic. I was surprised that stress levels were consistent among moms, regardless of their perceived risk of exposure to COVID-19.

To investigate some of the specific issues impacting moms now, I asked respondents to rate these stressors:

• Overall health of their family
• Trying to work from home with children in their home [among those who are WFH]
• Relationship with their spouse/partner [among those who are partnered]
• Finances
• Shopping/keeping the house well stocked

On average, the biggest stressors for all moms is the overall health of their family. Shopping, working with kids in the house and finances also were significant stressors (average of 3.5 out of a five point scale where 1 = not adding to stress levels at all and 5 = adding extreme levels of stress). On average, concerns about relationship with spouses/partners was less of a stressor.

Here are some verbatims from the respondents about what is causing them stress:

“Difference in approach, husband and oldest kid refuse to stay home and constantly run errands.”

“I am not concerned about shopping, but it takes 2x as long so it adds stress/work. What is stressful is the lack of alone time.”

“I will have to look for a new job when this is all over. May also be going through a divorce after this is over “

And…although I steered away from anything political in the survey, the political climate invariably came up as a stressor:

“I fear Trump’s ineptitude and lack of humanity will put many, many more people at risk. I fear the idiots who are protesting the shutdown and insisting on reopening will cause a second wave of infection and cause utter catastrophe. My work/home situation is tenable now but the lack of leadership and a distrust of scientific information will cause great disruption in the future. My friends with more or small children are having a much harder time. TRUMP SUCKS and he doesn’t care about us. He knows nothing and is incapable of learning. He’s literally the greatest concern I have for all Americans — working moms or not.”

“It makes me worried for our children in this highly politicized American. I’m not sure we can act smartly.”

Gen Pop Moms vs. Authors’ Networks Moms

When comparing the level of these stressors among the general population moms versus authors’ network of moms (moms who were recruited from our personal networks through social platforms and text), there are some significant differences.

Trying to work from home with children at home and relationship with spouse/partner are causing about the same amount of stress for general population moms as well as the moms recruited through our networks. However, general population moms are far more stressed about health, shopping and keeping their house stocked with food as well as concerns about their financial situation.

Other research has shown that 70% of Americans have less than $1,000 in savings. Small wonder that finances are such a stressor for the average working mother.

“I am anxious about how long this will last and how I will pay my bills.”

“It has impacted us financially. Currently, only have $40 and are self-employed so money has been significantly delayed due to other business (county specifically being closed). So no idea when money will be here. We haven’t received our stimulus check yet and need it ASAP. “

We asked moms whether they or their partner/spouse feels pressured to work in a way that puts them at risk of exposure to COVID-19. Almost half of general population moms felt pressure from this alarming situation for themselves or their spouse/partner. Radically different than the 15% of working moms recruited through my own networks who feel that they or their partner are put at risk through their employment. In fact, 9% of general population moms feel that both they and their spouse/partners are at risk. Given the increased exposure risk that the average working mom faces, it is not surprising that these general population moms are more concerned about the overall health of their family than are moms from the authors’ network.

“My husband is a first responder and is at risk every day. That’s been stressful and all salary increases have been frozen by the city he works for including overtime, so financially we have been feeling tight, though the relief package helped.”

“Husband is a nurse and it is worrisome“

Speaking personally, I know I’m incredibly lucky to have savings. I’m fortunate that my husband and I are both able to work from home and have enough space and laptops for all of our family members. And I’m happy that we can rely on services like Instacart and Postmates to further reduce our risk of exposure.

Mostly, I am in awe of the fact that working moms who struggle to effectively shelter in place, or who lack a financial cushion that will last through this pandemic still report the same amount of stress as working moms who have those advantages.

I want to end this post with a quote from one of the most resilient (and practical) working moms who provided her perspective:

“My husband and I run a company together. We are totally shut down and working from home with the couple people we did not have to furlough. Lots of thoughts…The fear bar has been raised so many times over the past month I’m pretty numb now. First it was omg…we have to close our business. Do everything to keep staff employed. Then it was a family member in NYC with serious Covid symptoms and my husband needing to go to the ER for kidney stones when the ER was terrifying. Then it was trying to apply for small business funding in a confusing landscape with no income and bills. Then it was furloughing our staff. Now, I’m pretty calm. I’ve actually realized for the first time that just about everything is really out of my control. I’m far less hard on myself. We’re doing what we can. Our two college kids are home with our high-schooler and we have this gift of time as a family that I never thought I’d see again. We’re all stir crazy but we’re doing puzzles together and making dinner together and not running in and out the door all the time. It’s relaxing, boring, nice. I want our business to be ok, to re-open, but I don’t ever want to go back to the crazy frenetic pace I’ve maintained for the last 20 years.”