Working Moms Perspectives on Distance Learning

Mothers of my acquaintance with school-aged children have a major new topic of discussion: “How’s it going with online school?”. Even though my community represents a rather narrow spectrum, the feedback varies widely. I’ve heard differences based on the school itself, particular teachers within a school, the temperament of individual students, the strength of students’ abilities (especially self-direction and learning differences), and the degree of involvement/engagement and stress levels of the parents.

My kids are both home from college. One student attends live, online classes at 4:15AM because that’s the starting time for his classes in Krakow, the location of his severely-truncated junior year abroad study program. The other student attends live, online classes at 8:30PM, which is Shanghai time from his Spring semester that never started there. They’re both doing fine despite the odd hours. And I like the fact that my boys take responsibility for their own academic performance and prefer that I remain clueless about their assignments and exams. I still rise at 4:10AM, however, ‘just to check’ that my son’s alarm was successful in waking him.

Among the working moms with school-aged children that I surveyed (kids in Kindergarten through college), I asked what modes of distance learning are being used, who is helping them (if anyone), and how it was working for their families. And based on these results, I have no hard feelings about those 4:10AM alarms.

What Modes of Distant Learning are Being Used?

Fewer than half of households with school-aged kids have distance learning at fixed hours during regular school hours. Over half (54%) have distance learning that can be done on their own schedule. Half also have worksheets and assignments they can complete on their own schedule. Five percent say their schools are not offering any of these options.

I looked at the difference in responses from general population moms versus moms in the authors’ networks (who are more likely to live in well-funded school districts or send their kids to private schools). A critical difference is the percentage of moms who said their kids have distance learning at fixed times during regular school hours (43% for gen pop moms and 62% among moms in the authors’ network).

Who is Helping Student With Distance Learning

Some high school students and most college students can navigate what they need to do on their own (at least logistically) for distance learning. Web-enabled classrooms and at-home workflows can be a challenge, however. This is especially true for younger students and for those unfamiliar with the technology. The vast majority of moms (88%) say their children are getting some help. While one in four moms say that they and their partner are helping their child/children equally, half of moms say that they are the primary helper with distance learning (and only 7% say their partner is the main one helping).

How Is Distance Learning Working Out For Working Moms?

Perhaps because they are more involved with their students’ distance learning, moms had a lot to say about how it was working out for their families. Here are a sampling of some of their thoughts:

For some, it is going fine (or even going great)

“I think it is going amazing. My kids get their assignments the night before so if we have the opportunity to start them we do. It is harder with more than one child and I am the only one home during the day.”

“My child really enjoys distance learning and online courses.”

“It’s ok now that most of the online bumps have been smoothed out. My son gets online himself at the right time, is able to navigate through the lessons and different chat rooms, and does his homework largely on his own. We are very lucky, his teacher believes in project based learning so he’s doing ‘school stuff’ maybe 3–4 hours per day and it seems like just enough to keep him learning but not so much it’s a drag on everyone.”

“Online Schooling is working pretty well for HS daughter. She and her friends are supporting one another and teachers have been very responsive to questions sent and holding zoom reviews and FT meetings when needed.“

However, the majority of moms were not as thrilled with how distance learning was working for their family.

Time Consuming and Exhausting for Moms:

“It is a lot of work for the grown ups.”

“It takes up so much time (3–6 hrs) a day that I am exhausted. And because the whole family is home, the housework also increased, so I barely get to my own work.”

“I barely sleep, I work nights 12–14 hour shifts and have to balance class work of 2 kids in different schools.”

“Not good. Hard to devote enough time and energy to this with doing eldercare, still working part time, supervising cooking and chores, starting a garden, etc.”

“Very stressful for me. I have two kids. 4th grader does his school work from his room upstairs, 2nd grade next to me on the dining table. Younger one needs lots of help from me navigating the online learning. 4th grader can navigate most of the time but if I don’t watch one he starts doing non school work, so I go back and forth , between these trips from downstairs and upstarts I try to do my work as well. I also tried keep both next to me, but they distracted each other. I end up having to get up really early and going to bed really late to finish my own work. I feel like this situations put on so much stress.”

“Stressful, too many links, hard teaching 2 kids at one time in 2 different grade levels and not understanding to wait their turn.”

“It is hard. My children’s teachers have been very helpful and supportive but it is not easy.”

“A complete mess! We are terribly overwhelmed and off schedule.”

“It’s a lot, I feel I fail with schooling, work and house chores. going to bed too late to get things done I can’t do during the day. Tired in the morning every day.”

Not enough work or instruction:

“It’s fine but kids aren’t challenged or very engaged. They finish their work in 3 hours each day.”

“My daughter’s school is a charter school that quickly transitioned to elearning. The days are shorter with no school on Fridays. She’s struggling to fill the rest of her day with non-online activity.”

“It’s not easy, we give them extra assignments, but they are still not doing much most of the day.”

“It isn’t working. The teachers post in Google Classroom what needs to be done and then my son is expected to do things independently.”

“It’s hard to get teenagers motivated. They say what’s the point. Only in classes in which the teacher provides online live video are they motivated (2 hours 10th grader and 3 hours 12th grader this week).”

Public vs private school:

“It is horrible. The public schools are completely unorganized. I wish I had sent my kids to private school.”

“Private school e-learning experience (6th grader) far exceeds public school (9th grader) experience. Hours in “school” for both are hours less than in-person learning previously.”

Lack of support for learning differences/special needs:

“Not well. The malinformed intention is for students to ‘learn on their own’. This is quite challenging for a 504 / ADHD / Exec F(x) ing challenged student. There have been zero adaptations made, nor any reach out from the district to assist my student.”

“My stress level has increased so much trying to teach students with an intellectual disability from home.”

“They are doing their best but two of our kids have autism and anxiety and their IEPs are not being used or honored right now at all. It is very hard to educate them.”

And last but not least, I want to end with one working mom who decided that acceptance was the best path forward.

“I have just accepted this is not happening in any organized way at my house.”

Still coming up… managing pre-school age children during COVID and dividing responsibilities for shopping and cooking.