Apparently I’m not normal, I take big risks, I have a dream, I’m an entrepreneur. I’m definitely not normal.

I’ve come to a conclusion. I am not normal. I’m okay with that. I used to be disturbed if I didn’t fit in, if I didn’t feel accepted. If someone didn’t stroke my fragile ego I would figure out how to get a response from them.

Nearly 20 years ago I recall a conversation with a friend of mine. It was a conversation that I will never forget and our relationship changed from that moment onward.

I had asked my friend Daryl for some support, I was frustrated and confused. I needed to make some decisions about my business and my direction. I shared the projects I had in the go and how tired I was and I was kind of shocked by what Daryl said, “You take such risks. What is with you and your need to learn and understand things?’

I was dumbfounded

I had been working on building my business for years. I was making a living but making big gains was a challenge and I wanted to make a breakthrough, I wanted things to be easier and experience less stress around money and paying the bills.

I had no answer for the second part of his question “What is with you and your need to learn and understand things?” I was speechless, I had no legitimate answer. I stumbled around trying to answer his challenging question.

Part of me was pissed off that he would even ask the question

If there was anyone who should understand me, it should have been him We spent many hours together talking about life, love and spiritual matters. I knew he envied my business experience but his question had a judgemental tone to it and more disturbing to me, I didn’t have an answer.

Today, I realize that what he was really attempting to tell me to was “Why can’t you accept things the way they are? Why don’t you go and get a job instead of struggling?” which was a familiar refrain. I had heard it from my wife, now my ex-wife often.

I have come to realize that these types of questions are from people who do not understand business and are not willing to take a risk to live their own dream. They will not even take the risk to educate themselves about what they don’t understand. Yet, they somehow feel entitled to criticize me and wrap their judgement and advice in a veiled question.

I Don’t See Risk, I See Opportunity

Today, I am aware that my risk meter is very different than most. The real risk to me is not having tried, not having at least attempted to live my dream. The other risk I am not willing to take is quitting on my business. I have seen so many people run out of financial runway, get discouraged or get nagged so significantly by their loved ones “to get a normal job” they quit their dream. In an attempt to gain acceptance, they acquiesced and settled for someone else’s dream. Quitting on my dream would be a recurring nightmare I don’t think I have the strength to endure.

The Nightmare Scenario I Will Not Endure

Quitting on my entrepreneurial dreams have never been an option. Why? Because then I am quitting on myself and that is unacceptable. If I can’t find a reason to continue in business, figure out a way to grow and thrive — how can I look myself in the mirror and not want to hurl in the toilet?

That said, I have closed two businesses and let one die on the vine. I closed one because I hated how doing wedding photography ruined a hobby I loved. My first business died due to neglect and I wasn’t prepared to do the work to learn how to make the business work. The other I closed because I refused to be bullied by so called silent business partners who had become quite vocal and manipulative.

Two of my business closures were mistakes in judgement and inappropriate intent. One was a lot more work than I thought, it ruined my hobby and I wasn’t willing to continue to make other people happy while I felt like shit and hated the job I had created. Was that quitting on myself? I don’t think so.

The Greatest Personal Development Program In The World

I can say that being an entrepreneur has been the greatest education, seminar and workshop of my life. No other seminar, book or workshop has ever been more insightful and influential in shaping who I am as a person than being a business owner. If I was asked today what would I share with my younger self I would say:

“Be prepared for the greatest learning opportunity of your life. Any weakness will be exposed, any character faults will eventually become glaringly obvious and if you don’t love what you do, don’t do it.”

And most important:

“All the stress, anxiety and worry is worth it because at the end of everyday you will be able to see yourself in a new way. You will be able to stretch grow and become more than you were yesterday.”

So if you are considering an entrepreneurial path and are not prepared to work on yourself, to grow and expand personally and professionally, don’t do it. Because then you will working against yourself and you deserve better, you deserve to experience the wonder of achievement. The exhilaration of a job well done and to develop the strength to look fear in the eye and lean in and whisper:

“You don’t know what I am capable of, I refuse to be define and limited by my fear, step aside I am moving forward.”

Be your own best friend and risk living your dream. Go ahead, I dare you.