6 Reasons Every Person Should Experience More Cowbell
I’m really happy for you. I’mma let you finish, but Beyonce rang one of the greatest cowbells of all time. — Kanye West
- Cowbell is religion.
If we’re not tucking our kids in at night with a cowbell, confessing our sinful cowbell neglect, and dedicating our lives to it, then we’ve missed the point. Let the cowbell wash over and cleanse you of your sins. Pay homage to it by facing East and ringing for 5 minutes morning and evening.
2. Cowbell will get you laid.
Bringing a cowbell on a date is one of most underrated dating tips. They don’t preach it on Cosmopolitan because it’s kryptonite to women. It’s too easy. When she sees how big your cowbell is, she’ll beg to ring it. But remember to ring responsibly.
3. Cowbell is community.
Every other weekend in the fall, over 60,000 fans make the trip to Starkville, MS to honor the cowbell. As the jumbotron lights up, religious zealot Will Ferrell honors the cowbell by playing one of the most intricate pieces. Many people tear up in the stadium to be able to witness such beauty.
They even honor it by having men in different colored shirts tackle each other while the crowd shakes cowbells in delight. This pleases the cowbell gods.
4. Cowbell is music.
If you’re looking to learn an instrument, the cowbell is one of the toughest ones to learn. Your friends and family will be impressed after you spend years mastering it and learning it’s intricacies. There are so few true cowbell musicians out there which gives you room to be the best.
5. Cowbell brings happiness.
Mississippi is one of the unhappiest states in the union. This is because there are so many people trying to hush the cowbell. From NCAA sanctions to haters, the cowbell faces a large uphill battle. They are afraid of the cowbell. Their fears would be alleviated if they experienced more of it.
6. Cowbell is life.
Just ask Mississippi State University. I graduated there and received the best social, religious, political, and educational cowbell experience on the planet. The cowbell is so powerful there that many outsiders refer to it as “Cow College.” 10 out of 10, would spend my money there again.
Leave a heart and help spread the gospel of cowbell. It would mean a lot.
Aaron is a creative writer, word wizard, artist guy, and comic that enjoys sending good vibes to the eyeballs that see his work.
Join his escapades through social media @tahowell2 on: Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter.
