We All Have a Breaking Point

It’s not too pretty when it’s reached

My grandfather invited me and my little brothers to help move a piano.

Piano’s are some of the heaviest pieces of “furniture” I know. This thing was an antique so…

33 Ideas Every Successful Person Knows

1. Successful people know that who we are is…

*banging on door*

“Hold on”

*opens door*

Slow Down Officer

Sir do you know how fast you were going?

Honestly officer, I was being pretty..

30.5

.. Excuse me?

30.5

… In a 30?

Divine Fish & Chips

OFFICER: WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?!

POLICE CHIEF: What does he want?

NEGOTIATOR: He’s English and upset. He wants fish & chips.

OFFICER: BUT THIS IS AMERICA, WE DON’T HAVE…

Jobs Are Tough

[customer locks eyes with me] She grins as she pushes the bag of sugar off the top shelf.

“What are you gonna do about it” she asks.

I begin sweating nervously as she glides my direction.

4 Important Writing Tips They Never Tell You

Number 4 Could Make You Blink Twice

If you’re looking to write for speed, then light something or someone you love on fire. You can’t put it out till you’re finished. This way you’re forced to write as…

The Burden of High Expectations

“I’m saying don’t be so hard on him. He’s just a baby” said Martha.

“I know. Two tours in Iraq, and I just want to spend some quality time with my boy. Haven’t seen him in over a year” said Billy.

To Save A Life

While shifting uncomfortably in the electric chair, the executioner began the proceedings.

A few button hits had Frank ready for it to all be over with. He felt currents of electricity dance and weave throughout his body. They were teasing the life out of him.

Everything Isn’t As It Seems

The robber looks at the sign on the gate.

“Beware of Hamster. Hmm. This must be one of those millennial jokes I’m not apart of.”

He opens the gate and races for the front door.

When Brutal Honesty Kills Dreams

[retail after work]

MANAGER: (looks around registers with the gleefulness of a baby)

Honestly, this is the cleanest the front has been in years.