Can’t Escape the Prison of Love
GUARD: he’s escaping!
[the sirens go off as the guards notice me crawl out of a hole in ground]
ME: [running from yelling guards and barking dogs] SHIT SHIT SHIT
[I come across a field and immediately duck down. Within seconds, I am ambushed by a police dog that pins me until the guards arrived]
WARDEN: [cuffing me] thought you could escape huh
ME: [hands him flowers] I picked these for you
WARDEN: they’re… beautiful
ME: I spent the last five years digging a tunnel with a spoon to get you those
WARDEN: [sniffs em] nobody’s ever done that for me
GUARD: let’s stick this guy in isolation
WARDEN: NO!
[everybody stares at him awkwardly. one guy coughs]
GUARD: he stole out of prison
WARDEN: the only thing he stole was my heart [looks at me] don’t let it happen again [winks]
