Deodorant Sales Down As Clinton Supporters No Longer Sweating Allegations
In the immediate aftermath, stock prices of deodorant companies Proctor & Gamble, Unilever, and Adidas plummeted. The synchronous drop is a clear reflection that Clinton supporters no longer needing to “double-up” on deodorant usage after celebrating the indictment that isn’t happening.
After speaking with deodorant companies on the matter, they all agreed they weren’t sweating it. They know more and more people will be buying as the election season draws to a close.
It’s believed that Trump supporters will be buying in bulk as they watch their dear leader struggle in the polls, but executives aren’t sure if they’re going to allow it.
“We’re thinking about making the Trump campaign the smelliest one in history” said an anonymous retail exec. “We’re monitoring people’s sign usage and base that on whether they’re for or against Trump. We’ll be sending deodorant coupons to the ones looking to support other candidates. Trump supporters will be hard pressed to afford price hikes of the armpit guarding substances.”
So with the Clinton charges supposedly never arriving, and Trump supporters in general, who would’ve imagined the importance of deodorant. We’ll be monitoring the situation as the election season continues to unfold.
Don’t forget to leave a green heart and make the Trump campaign the smelliest one in history. America thanks you.
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