Divine Fish & Chips

OFFICER: WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?!

POLICE CHIEF: What does he want?

NEGOTIATOR: He’s English and upset. He wants fish & chips.

OFFICER: BUT THIS IS AMERICA, WE DON’T HAVE…

[slap]

POLICE CHIEF: Pull yourself together officer.

You’re right though. Where do we find such a gourmet?

DETECTIVE: I brought my lunch; Doritos and a can of tuna.

POLICE CHIEF: What kind of lunch…. Never mind that. That’ll HAVE to work.

[police robot wheels in “fish and chips”]

(5 minutes later)

[a divine being glides into view with a halo, glowing intensely like the sun]

ROBBER: (with the voice of an angel) Brothers. Sisters in God. I pray you forgive this sinner for I have become the light.

Your fish & chips have opened my eyes. I recant my days of pettiness and pledge myself to the divine with me.

[guns held on robber]

OFFICER: WHAT DO WE DO?

POLICE CHIEF: (tears welling from his eyes) LET THE MAN GO… sniff.. for I too have stolen a bite of the divine.

And like that, guns were put down. Tears were shed. And laughter rang out from the crowd.

Don’t underestimate the power of fish & chips.

Original idea from Twitter user Everatt Byram.