Evil With A Heart Of Gold

[Middle Earth Orc Army]

“Okay, let’s get a head count” said Golgomath.

“Gronk?” Present

“Yakuza?” Here

“Frank?”… “Frank?”

FRANK: May I speak to you a second.

[pulls Golgomath to the side]

G: What’s up?

F: Listen I have a wife and a kid.

[shows pictures in wallet]

G: Wow your wife is.. beautiful and so is your baby. Are those.. humans? How did you swing that?

F: Initially she was all “ew” and “please don’t kill me” but once she got to know the real me, we became cool.

F: She’s the breadwinner since she holds a position that pays in money whereas I get paid with the blood of my enemies so missing a battle or two isn’t as important.

F: Anyway, we’re due our second child, and I would like to take this battle off to support her. You know, spend those hard earned vacation hours we don’t have.

G: I don’t understand half the things you said, but you’re confident I’ll give you that.

G: I’ll talk to the big man in charge, and see what can be done.

G: So I just finished with the evil lord, and he said it was fine He also said to tell that sweet wife of yours hello and catch a few baseballs with the baby for him.

F: This is the best day ever! He’s going to grow up a killer just like his daddy.

Don’t green heart this. Publication: Rue Renegade

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