Nuclear Attack of Love

“Sir the Russians are launching. What do we do?”

“Fire back!”

[locates nuclear launch button]

“HIT THE DECK”

[presses]

*fart noise*

“.. what the hell”

[presses again]

*fart noise*

[finds whoopee cushion under console]

“What kind of sick joke is..”

[undetonated Russian warhead hits the compound]

[everybody takes cover]

[the warhead pops open and a note is dropped on the floor]

[the general approaches and reads it]

“I luh you”

[angrily crumples it]

For fuck sakes, that Putin guy has some nerve.

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