Responsibility Hurts

So the results came back. Though three gunshots to the face and a record amount of stab wounds would normally kill… well anyone… you are perfectly fine.

[sobbing uncontrollably] “I don’t understand.”

I don’t understand a lot of things. I wish I hadn’t seen this.

[still sobbing] “This has to be a mistake.”

Nope.

“.. So you think a noose might do it?”

What? Why are you asking…

“For a friend.”

Jesus Clark if it’s for a friend then typically yes but then…

[Clark kicks down door and races home]

“… Oooo you’ve got to be joking” said the doctor.

[the doctor sticks his head out and yells down hallway]

DARLA CANCEL MY 4 O’CLOCK. I NEED TO UPDATE MY MALPRACTICE INSURANCE.

[a faint voice from down the hallway] Why?

[annoyed] BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT GOOD DOCTORS DO.

Green hearts are somewhere. Publication: Rue Renegade

Twitter @IntenselyAaron Snapchat @tahowell2

*Patient was Clark Kent before deciding to be Superman*