So the results came back. Though three gunshots to the face and a record amount of stab wounds would normally kill… well anyone… you are perfectly fine.
[sobbing uncontrollably] “I don’t understand.”
I don’t understand a lot of things. I wish I hadn’t seen this.
[still sobbing] “This has to be a mistake.”
“.. So you think a noose might do it?”
What? Why are you asking…
“For a friend.”
Jesus Clark if it’s for a friend then typically yes but then…
[Clark kicks down door and races home]
“… Oooo you’ve got to be joking” said the doctor.
[the doctor sticks his head out and yells down hallway]
DARLA CANCEL MY 4 O’CLOCK. I NEED TO UPDATE MY MALPRACTICE INSURANCE.
[a faint voice from down the hallway] Why?
[annoyed] BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT GOOD DOCTORS DO.
Green hearts are somewhere. Publication: Rue Renegade
Twitter @IntenselyAaron Snapchat @tahowell2
*Patient was Clark Kent before deciding to be Superman*