Slow Down Officer

Sir do you know how fast you were going?

Honestly officer, I was being pretty..

30.5

.. Excuse me?

30.5

… In a 30?

Yes

[mouth moves, unable to comprehend]

Listen. We here in Slow Your Ass Down, USA shoot tickets to punks like you like we shoot.. bad guys

[I’m looking professional for work and fluently speak the Queen’s English]

Okay.

[holds up license and registration]

No need [officer slaps it out of hand]

[reaches in back pocket]

Have a shit day

[hands ticket]

[officer walks back to car, spins tires with Taylor Swift blaring]

Wow..

[I glance at ticket]

“Call me sometime”

[mouth twitches]

….. Why even leave the house at all.

Green hearts are somewhere. Publication: Rue Renegade

Twitter @PearMeGently Snapchat @tahowell2