Slow Down Officer

Sir do you know how fast you were going?

Honestly officer, I was being pretty..


.. Excuse me?


… In a 30?


[mouth moves, unable to comprehend]

Listen. We here in Slow Your Ass Down, USA shoot tickets to punks like you like we shoot.. bad guys

[I’m looking professional for work and fluently speak the Queen’s English]


[holds up license and registration]

No need [officer slaps it out of hand]

[reaches in back pocket]

Have a shit day

[hands ticket]

[officer walks back to car, spins tires with Taylor Swift blaring]


[I glance at ticket]

“Call me sometime”

[mouth twitches]

….. Why even leave the house at all.

Green hearts are somewhere. Publication: Rue Renegade

Twitter @PearMeGently Snapchat @tahowell2

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