The Dentist Will Be in Your Head Soon
ME: you sure you know what you’re doing
MAID: of course. the dentist is out for a bit so I’ll be doing your cleaning
ME: [watches as she places cleaning tools on the table]
HER: now open wide
[she immediately hits my mouth with lysol and rams a feathery cleaning brush in it]
HER: all clean. now that wasn’t so bad
ME: [noticing my teeth are far whiter than usual] how did you..
HER: shhh [takes off mask to reveal herself as my dentist] we’ll see you again in 3 months
ME: hell no I’m getting the cops
DENTIST: I’ll give you a canister of laughing gas
ME: you think you can buy me like that
DENTIST: yep
ME: .. I want the bubble gum flavored mask
DENTIST: done