Those Cock-Blocking Third Wheels
My date and I were chilling outside the restaurant enjoying our third get-together. We just finished eating and the mood was on point. I knew it was time to break out the “game changer.”
“Yo have you listened to the latest Kidz Bop album?” I asked as coolly as possible (though I could barely contain my giddiness).
As her smile faded, I could tell something was wrong.
“.. Why would I do that?” she answered back.
Her hesitation was understandable as it takes a rare woman to appreciate the finer aspects of kids modifying popular songs to appeal to a younger generation.
I figured once it began playing, it would elevate things a lot; in a good way.
“It’s pretty dope,” I said.
While searching for the tape, the air became full of tension.
Upon finding it, the tension increased at an exponential rate. It was so tense, I began looking around to see if there were other people somewhere in the car.
Making sure the tape was flipped right side up, I jammed it into in the player. I then heard a deep sigh that came from the engine of the car.
“What the hell is going on?” she exclaimed.
I pretended not hear as song one began to ooze out of the car stereo system.
Dreamy eyed, I turned to look at her.
“I hope you’re having a good..”
In a flash, the driver’s side airbag deployed and sent my face into the headrest at 100mph. The whiplash nearly left me unconscious.
The tape ejected with all the trimming spilled out.
In my half-conscious state, I heard a voice play over the sound system.
“Why the hell would any of us enjoy that?”
It was the car.
It then unlocked itself and my date furiously got out and ran to her car.
I could tell she was upset.
“At least we’ll have a lot to talk about on the fourth date” I dreamily muttered while bleeding internally.
Laughed? Smiled? Bemused? Pledge your firstborn.. I mean.. green heart for others to see. Publication: Rue Renegade
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