When Words Fail You

Walking into the local bar was probably one of the most tense things I’ve done this week.

Being plagued at my apartment by odd noises and stirrings throughout the week really unsettled me. Each night I get out of bed to check, there seemed to be a shadowy figure shuffling around outside. I could also hear feint duck noises that echoed through my place (there are no native ducks to this area).

I hit the bar looking to take a bit of the edge off. As I walk in, I flag the bartender.

“I’ll have a shot of the usual.”

He nods and then glances over my shoulder.

“That was odd” I think to myself. “Maybe it’s just the delirium I’m in.”

As I begin to wait for my drink, I feel a presence behind me.

I feel a tap on my left shoulder and as I turn to look, I feel a stinging pain in my right one.

I’m then handled roughly as a familiar face leans in to whisper, leaving no room for Jesus.

“Hey there sport”


Glancing at my right shoulder, I see the needle that caused the sharp pain.

“What the hell doctor?”

He pulls back. “Flu shot; wouldn’t want you missing it this season.”

“You’re the one that’s been creeping on me all this time and making duck noises? And for what, a flu shot?”

“Yes, quack and yes. Here’s the bill. See you around.”

He then winked at me and scampered towards the door as if to prey on his next victim.

“I ought to call the cops” I mutter to myself.

I look at the note he handed me.

“Call me sometime :)”

I crumble it and throw it across the room.

“I don’t know what to say anymore”

Green hearts are somewhere. Publication: Rue Renegade

For daily, short forms of humortainment, follow me on Twitter: @thehowellicious, IG: @thehowellicious and Snapchat: @tahowell2

One clap, two clap, three clap, forty?

By clapping more or less, you can signal to us which stories really stand out.