How to Eat a Cosmos Pizza Slice
You know that pizza is one of the most important foods in America, because most all of us have eaten it our entire life.
So, most of you probably think you know how to eat a pizza. Unless you eat pizza with a fork, then you have no clue. Applying your normal pizza knowledge on a slice at Cosmos is just not going to cut it. I’m going to teach you how to properly eat a Cosmos pizza.
Living only an eighth of a mile away from Cosmos Pizza, I am a frequent customer, especially when they have $2 slices through the Hooked App. I’ve been eating there for almost two years now, at least once a week. But, up until this last month I have been eating their pizza entirely wrong.
I’m not talking about what toppings I put on it, or how it’s prepared. I’m literally talking about how you take the pizza from your plate and put it in your mouth.
I, like most, used to fold the pizza in half like a taco. This works to an extent, but the slice is still hard to manage due to its sheer size.
It was inefficient, messy and just not practical.
I was then introduced to THE CORRECT WAY to eat a slice of Cosmos pizza by a good friend. At first I thought he was a little out of line by his unorthodox pizza-eating style, until I myself gave it a try.
I have coined this method the Cosmos Pizza Burrito. I’m sure you have an idea of how to do this on your own with little to no explanation, but I will make things nice and simple. Starting from the end furthest from the crust, you roll a nice and tight burrito out of your slice.
The method sounds a little weird, but once you try it, you will never eat a Cosmos slice a different way again. Not only does it make the pizza manageable, it keeps the cheese and your toppings of choice from making their escape. It also allows you to be consuming three layers of pizza all at once, how could you not love it?
If you are like me and can only eat a cosmos pizza with copious amounts of spicy ranch, this method has a hidden benefit. There is nothing worse than trying to jam your slice of pizza into your spicy ranch container once you make it halfway through your slice. The ability to perfectly dip your Cosmos Pizza Burrito into the container of spicy ranch all throughout the slice is unparalleled.
Why in God’s name did no one think of this solution sooner. Especially in the Pizza rich culture that is New York where the large slice is over 100 years old. Only in Fort Collins has the eternal mystery been solved. I hope the next time you make a trip to Cosmos Pizza, you consider the Cosmos Pizza Burrito as the best logistical option form the plate to your mouth.
