Imagine yourself at the young age of 18, moving away from the comfort of your family, friends and home. You move into a small little dorm room, shared with a stranger. You step out of that new “home” and everyone around you are strangers. Strangers that look and are nothing like you. Frightening, right?
This is what I felt coming to Colorado State University in Fort Collins. As excited as I was to finally get away from home and go to college, when I finally arrived here I was anxious. Not only was I dealing with the fact that I was away from all the comfort of my hometown, I was finally in a city where I was really the minority in being Asian American, because the majority of the population is White.
First, let’s define what culture shock is in order to better understand my feelings and the feelings of those who experience culture shock. According to the online Merriam-Webster dictionary culture shock is, “a sense of confusion uncertainty sometimes with feelings of anxiety that may affect people exposed to an alien culture or environment without adequate preparation.” Basically, feeling confused and/or anxious when in a new environment that is different from one that you are familiar with.
Contrary to popular belief, culture shock does not only happen when you travel and/or live abroad, any change in an environment that is difficult to adjust to, can trigger someone into experiencing culture shock. Becoming aware of the symptoms of culture shock can help you and others overcome culture shock.
Symptoms of Culture Shock
- Extreme homesickness
- Feeling isolated or hopeless
- Mood swings
- Withdrawal from the outside world (i.e. spending excessive amounts of time inside, reading or binge watching shows etc.)
- Insomnia, sleeping a lot, or feeling tired easily
- The smallest problems seem overwhelming
- Questioning your decision to move or to travel to the new place
In addition to the symptoms, there are five stages in how culture shock develops and is experienced according to Barends Psychology Practice.
The first stage is called the Honeymoon Stage. If the stage name is any less obvious, during the Honeymoon stage you are typically very excited with the move/travel and have no feelings of homesickness at all.
I went through this stage when I first arrived to CSU. I was beyond ecstatic to be away from home and to be able to basically do what I wanted whenever I wanted. The freedom of college with the vast amount of opportunities to meet new people and do new things was thrilling. This stage for me lasted a few weeks and began to fade away when I became more adjusted to college life.
The second stage is called the Rejection Stage. This stage is different for every person because it can be triggered in various ways. The most common triggers are when you experience your first cultural misunderstanding and when you begin to feel homesick. This stage is also the most difficult stage to deal with.
For me, I began feeling homesick, which was normal since I was away from home for the longest period of time in my entire life. I then began suffering from insomnia and feeling tired easily, which I attributed to the stress of classes because again, it was an entirely different type of schedule and freedom than I was accustomed to. As my first semester continued I spent much more time inside my dorm room, by myself, instead of getting myself out there to make more friends or even hanging out with my few friends from back home that also went to CSU. I grew more and more lonely as this continued.
I was having a hard time adjusting to both college life and a drastically different racial demographic. I come from Northglenn, a small city in the Denver-Metro area of Colorado that is much more diverse than Fort Collins is. To put in perspective, here are the demographics of Northglenn and Fort Collins in comparison.
I bring up race and ethnicity because being in Fort Collins and being Asian American, I would get glanced at a lot from people, I assume are locals in Fort Collins, who happen to also be White. Having it happened once or twice to me wasn’t too uncomfortable, but when I constantly got glanced at by different people it made me self-conscious. If you are curious about who I am, please don’t hesitate to approach and talk to me. Not only that, a lot of people tend to be surprised that I can speak and understand English fluently without much of an accent. This is something I can semi understand because there are a lot of international students, but at the same time it doesn’t justify the categorizing of all Asians as international students, in that all Asians will have an accent and not be able to speak English very fluently.
After coming to terms and realizing that I was experiencing culture shock after sharing my thoughts with my older sister, who also went through the same culture shock when she attended CSU, I slowly learned how to cope.
I accepted that the demographics were different and that eventually I’d get used to it.
In order to be less lonely and to miss home less, I hung out with my other Asian friends. We’d often go to Teriyaki Wok II an Asian restaurant located in Campus West. Often times we’d get lunch or just go in for boba (bubble) tea and spend a good hour or two hanging out there. We later discovered Dragon Lee another Asian restaurant which was just down the street of Teriyaki Wok II. Dragon Lee had food that was closer to the type of food we had at home, especially their pepper sauce.
Every now and then I’d also talk to locals, most of whom make friendly conversation while I’m out grocery shopping. A large majority would be surprised to find out that I speak English fluently and that I’m born, raised and actually from Colorado, but they were still nice upon finding that out. I appreciated those who spoke to me even if it was just for a few minutes in passing. It made me feel welcomed and reassured that I made the right choice of coming to Fort Collins and staying in Fort Collins because everyone is so friendly. I encourage everyone to talk to a stranger once and a while because the affects it can have on a person can potentially be life changing.
These were ways I were able to deal with culture shock during this phase, but here are more ways on how to deal with culture shock in college and five other tips to over come culture shock.
The next and third stage is called Surface Adjustment. Perhaps the most confusing stage because most people feel better than before, but they still feel like they haven’t fully adjusted to the new environment.
This stage wasn’t so obvious for me to diagnose. I was feeling a whole lot better than I was feeling just a few weeks previously and I didn’t feel like I needed to do much more. However, I did feel like something was still… off. I continued to feel a little lonely now and then, especially when my few friends went home for the weekends. I didn’t have anyone in Fort Collins to hang out with.
I eventually just accepted the fact that it would take a while for me to fully adjust and to make close friends in Fort Collins. I didn’t force myself to try and adjust more, I came to terms that I will have to take things slowly and that I can’t expect to have many close friends in only a few weeks. By accepting that adjustment takes more time, I grew more relaxed and comfortable with the progress of adaptation that I was making. Because I accepted my pace I was actually able to make genuine friends some even local from Fort Collins.
The fourth stage is Deeper Adjustment. It’s the phase of having settled down fully, but you become so aware of the apparent cultural differences automatically. People especially find these cultural differences irritating when they themselves are angry.
This is a stage I did experience, but not as extreme as others. I did become very aware of the cultural differences between my hometown culture and Fort Collins that mainly revolved around race and ethnicity. From the “subtle” glances to the sometimes insensitive remarks I became slightly more sensitive in what people would say to me.
The fifth and final stage is Adjustment. This is the stage where you have fully adjusted and adapted to the new environment you are in. You have changed slightly and have intertwined some new behaviors and habits into your own behaviors and habits. You realize that you have changed from your own culture and may feel a little distanced from the culture you came from.
This stage is very real to me because I have grown very accustomed to living in Fort Collins. I’ve adapted to college life and to standing out in a white town.
To those that are going through culture shock, be open minded, be willing to try new things, and put yourself out there. Be patient with yourself and go at your own pace.
To those that want to help someone going through culture shock, be willing to listen, be open minded, be kind and be supportive.
I encourage everyone to be friendly and to talk to a stranger every now and then. Spread kindness because it can work wonders.