The man who stole my light had emerged from the depths, so into the depths I followed. At first, I imagined that I would hesitate as the heat of the fire was intense. Yet, now, in this lightless form, I did not fear the flame. I submerged myself into it, and instead of pain and torment, I passed through it like a mist and descended into a volume of total darkness. There was no longer a cove, no longer a moon, there was just the void.
I heard echos of distant voices chanting a harrowing tune. It sounded empty, as though a ghostly chorus sang out in some bastardized harmony. I stared forward, not knowing if this was a small box or an infinite expanse. I had no reference other than the tune of the dead.
Was I dead? Is that what it meant to pass through the flame? It seemed, to me, like a vicious lie. There was no illumination to be found in the firelight, no light that is given in darkness. The formless man took my light and fled into the cove, leaving me to find my way through the blaze. It was a trick, a betrayal. He trapped me in this realm of negation. For all that I knew in my old world had turned into the opposite: light into darkness, life into death, material into void.
I was lost. I could not see what was up or down, left or right. The void gives no such indications. Looking at my body, I saw naught. Reaching into my heart, I felt naught. Staring into the abyss, I saw naught. Was I upside down, right way up, slowing or speeding up? It was disorienting and filled me with disillusion.
I tried to swim and felt no resistance, yet I heard the sound of the dead fading. Sound was the only sense that I could measure. Therefore, I swam toward the ghoulish song. The closer I came to the source, the further I became. Was the chanting in my head? What was this place? I closed my eyes and suddenly was able to see. My mind created that which was not.
There was a pathway, and on it stood the procession of the dead. They walked along a narrow path that stretched over the horizon. These were not people, but souls. I had not imagined until this moment, the color of the soul: teal. It was the illumination in the void. I could see dark stones line the pathway and high cliffs on either side. There was no escaping the path for those who walked it, yet I soared above, able to move great distances without traversing the path. How was this so?
After orienting myself to what I saw, I opened my eyes, and there was only empty space. Closing them again, I saw the path and the procession. It appeared I must keep my eyes closed to see in this realm of opposites. I feared to approach the way of souls, perhaps they may grab me or be angry that I transcend their toils. I instead decided to see where it led. I moved along the path, gliding above it like a bird, to uncover the terminus.
I spent what felt like hours traversing the path but never came to an end. I thought it may be an endless trail or perhaps even a circle. Have I already been here? There were no distinctive features to keep track of where I’d been or what lay ahead, no mountain in the distance, no marker in the road — nothing. I had been exploring with my eyes closed for what felt like days and was exhausted. If this really was the world of opposites, opened meant closed; therefore, I would rest with open eyes.
As I opened them, I could now see something that wasn’t there before. A light called forth in the distance. I had moved! Was that the end of the line? It called to me, and I pushed toward it. The closer I got, the more the light turned to form. What was this apparition? I beheld an angelic figure, perhaps it would reveal to me what this place was.
“Where am I?” I asked.
There was no response.
“Excuse me! Are you an angel?”
Nothing.
Ahh, a world of opposites. I spoke it within my mind.
Where am I?
The being nodded and rose their arm to my right and responded, I am the toll keeper. What can you pay?
I have nothing to pay a toll, for I cannot even see my hands. I cannot see my form. All I have to pay is formless, I responded, confused by all of this inversion.
Then you may not pass, he explained.
Frustrated, I sat in meditation for a moment. I must have something to give.
I asked, What toll do you require?
I require that which you cannot give, the angel responded.
I paused, trying to solve the riddle. I give you all of nothing.
Suddenly, the angel began to move toward me at a fierce rate. The light blinded me. I felt fear as he slammed into me. My body, or whatever I was, ignited as if being burned away. It was an agonizing pain. I screamed out into the void and felt weak. The light emitted from me now, it turned orange, then blue, and then teal.
The light of the angel had filled me, burning away nothing yet everything. I felt intense pain yet profound bliss. I was perplexed by this experience. There was chaos in the light, yet in the darkness, there was nothing. I then realized a horrifying truth.
The voice of the angel sounded in my head, You now understand the source of chaos and the role of darkness with the light.
He was right. I used to feel what this truth revealed, yet I never understood it — experiencing it in its truth. At this moment, I knew that chaos and light were intertwined like two serpents coiled in a spiral. They surrounded me now, but they do not constrict, they freed. The question that still lingered in my mind was: What did they free?
The voice spoke once more, They free you, my shadow. Just as you released me.
A light grew to consume me, and all faded to white. I felt the warm hug of sand against my back and the rays of the sun against my front. I heard sounds of waves crashing against the shore as warm water washed over me. I became disoriented and sick, as if I were to vomit.
My eyes adjusted to the light, and I saw myself in the cove once again, only now it was filled with life. The sky was blue, the rocks were covered in green, palm trees filled the land several yards from the shore. I lay in deep thought. What was it that I had just experienced? I must remember the lessons I learned in the void. I did not yet know what it meant in this realm, but I was sure to find out in time.
