For many months I drifted through the cosmos, watching neighboring stars glimmer in the darkness. It was cold on my planetary island. Never had I experienced such isolation, the distances between the world below, and the beings around me were great. I did not know what I would experience on this journey, and I did not expect this to be the end.
The coldness of the void would take its hold on me, trying to prevent that which I must become. I was unsure what stopped the next step in the journey. Why did I wait? Was I hoping for someone to join me? Was I giving her a chance to catch up to me? I came to the conclusion that was, in fact, why I delayed at my own peril. After being so patient, I realized that no one was coming with me after all. I would be taking this journey without the companion I left behind.
I fell to my knees outside of the cave, on the South Pole of the island. Closing my eyes, I could feel the warmth radiate from within my chest, my mind cleared, my body relaxed, my breathing slowed. I took one last look at the stars before me and closed my eyes. It was now time for that moment — ignition.
Suddenly, I felt it wash over me as if submerged in warm water. All of my senses were heightened. Chills went down my spine, warmth engulfed me like a lover’s embrace, and I felt my knees lift from the sands below. I was leaving, but to where I did not know. Opening my eyes, I saw the island aglow with a white blaze. It slowly shrunk in the distance as I fell to the world below. I was going back.
There was no fear as I drifted into the atmosphere and fell from the heavens. I splashed down into the water where my island once resided. It was now resting in the night sky, twinkling against the darkness of space, alight, and watching over me. I wondered what it all meant, what I was being shown. But some things cannot be expressed in words or even in thought. Some things will never be understood by logic or reason.
I took solace in the unknown now, whereas before, it was a cause of anxiety. Many others in this world still fear it. They might ask, “what lies beyond the fog? What dangers?” I say to them that the only dangers are the ones you bring. Within the fog lies all possibilities, and one must realize this to navigate its unknowns.
You are blind, but you can see. You do not know, but yet you feel. It guides you, that feeling. It shows you the way, but before you step into the fog, you must learn this lesson. The map that guides you is your own. Where you end up is entirely up to you.
I now realize what this Odyssey was to me. I realized that it was the most challenging path I would ever tread. The fires burned me away, and I was born again pure. The spirit guided me to my island of reflection so that I would meditate in isolation. I first had to detach myself from the world, be alone on an island, and fall from the stars before I realized the hidden truth: I was never really me. For my entire life, I was too afraid to actually find myself.
I feared it in so many ways throughout the years. I ran away from myself, from those I saw myself in. I loathed others because I loathed myself. In understanding what it truly meant, I was able to let go of this fear, to die to myself, and to be reborn as an individual. We run for most of our lives from that truth. We are not ourselves. We can only find ourselves once we realize we are not yet alive. We must face these truths and allow our old self to burn to ashes. Only then are we birthed anew.
The ocean around me was calm. The waves were reverent. I understood. Turning back toward the cove, I began to swim to find my way back home. This journey is one that must be taken if one is to truly exist. To exist, one must first die. To be reborn is to truly live.
—
I woke in my bed. The clock read five fifty-five. The sun had not yet risen, but I had. How does one integrate this experience into normal life? How can one move forward? In a single moment, one Odyssey, everything I was had changed. A new man was born and took control, and the other faded into the recesses of memory. The strands that bind us to our past must be cut. The ones that pull us into the future must be grasped.
I was afraid to cut the bonds to my past. I feared to lose the one I wished to be my companion, the one I wanted to follow me to the island and to the stars. They went along their own path, and now I must go along mine. I shall cut the strands of my past and look forward. My soul guided me into a new world. I now come back to finish my task. What I now see in this world is entirely different.
This is the end of my first Odyssey and the beginning of a new one.
