Bringing Justice Home

The Thanksgiving Discussion Guide

This November has been a solemn month. Donald Trump’s victory has shaken many of us to our core. We know that in a few months, a president will take office who has pledged violence, deportation, racial profiling, and religious persecution. Additionally, many of us fear what a Trump presidency will mean for people who are poor, women, disabled, queer, and trans. These are terrifying times.

Right now, as white people, we have to resist the urge to retreat. White people — men and women alike, mostly those with economic privilege — put Trump in the White House. We must organize and reach people, specifically the people who we have not yet reached. We cannot wait for people of color to tell us what to do.

Powerful resistance is swelling across the country. Water Protectors at Standing Rock have not wavered in their resistance to the Dakota Access Pipeline. The Movement for Black Lives continues to build power and alliances around their Vision. Undocumented people across the country have mobilized actions and are preparing deportation resistance. Muslim faith groups are opening their mosques and welcoming the community in. Students are walking out. Rural communities are building their own safety plans. Queer and trans groups are offering life-saving medical and legal support.

When the stakes are so high, it can feel impossible to pick your first step. Sometimes the first place to start is at home, with the people we are closest to. Many of us are preparing to sit at tables with people who don’t share our views for “Thanksgiving” and the upcoming Winter holidays. We hope these tools will support you as you move friends and family to action, have courageous conversations, and take steps to build the movement that we need.

If we’re going to make significant change in our country, we have to break some of the customs we have as white people. One of those is not to talk about race at the dinner table. We want to encourage everyone to go home for the holidays and have courageous and loving conversations with our families about race, Trump and what’s at stake.

DISCUSSION GUIDE

Remember:

• All White folks need to talk about racial justice this year, including those of us who see ourselves as progressive. Those conversation are opportunities to discuss what we can do to address racism in ourselves and our communities, and to challenge the scapegoating of “other” White people- especially working class White folks and/or White folks living in rural or rust belt towns.
• Conversations with Trump supporters aren’t about proving yourself right, they are about changing hearts and minds.
• Drop shaming, blaming, and stereotypes.
• Be prepared to listen, especially when you don’t agree. Be sure you aren’t just waiting to plan a response.
• The election just happened, and emotions are high from all perspectives. Check in with yourself, and remember the high pressure environment we are working in
• Many people will not be reached with a framework of “white privilege” or “systems of oppression,” particularly rural, poor, and working class people. Use language and references that more people relate to
• Online only goes so far. Once things get tense, take the conversation off of Facebook, email, or text message. Meet in person or have a phone call.
• Find a stopping point. You are not likely to change someone’s world view in one sitting. End when the conversation is in a place of agreement, and revisit it again later.

Getting Started:

In some communities, people don’t talk about politics. Many families prefer to keep the conversation away from the holiday table. That said, we know these spaces can also be the spots where we have the most influence. Here are some ways to get the conversation started:

• When someone asks about how you are doing, say, “I am feeling really [sad/scared/upset] after this election.”
• “I feel nervous to bring this up, but I think we really need to have a conversation about what happened during the election.”
• “What are you thinking about the election?”

Most folks will shut down if they feel like they are being attacked. Try thinking about what you know about this person. Are they a parent? Do they volunteer in their community? What are their values? Approach from this place, not from one of disagreement. Also, if it feels safe, consider sharing your personal story. Often times, personal connection to an issue is what creates transformation.

I’m not a racist for supporting Trump.

I’m really happy to hear you say that you are against racism. I’m worried because I’ve heard Trump say things about Muslims, immigrants, and people of color. I understand that you don’t agree. Have you thought about ways to show people of color that you’re with them? What changed you this year and brought you to vote for Trump?

I didn’t vote for Trump — I can’t believe how racist the rest of America is.

White people across demographic groups voted for Trump, including majorities of White voters making $77,000 a year and White women. It seems like voting wasn’t enough to stop him, and that the more we scapegoat other people, especially working class, poor, and/or rural White people, the more powerful he gets. I’ve realized that even though I work hard to be against racism, I have work to do too, for example, one time, I did __________ and I learned/realized __________. Have you had similar experiences? How do we help each other grow and live up to our values? Do you think our prejudice has made us ignore real needs in poor, rural and/or rust belt communities?

We don’t know how Trump is going to act when he get’s into office.

That’s true, but some of the things he’s said make me very worried about waiting and seeing what happens. He has said some very harmful things, especially about Muslims, immigrants, and women. I’m not willing to wait and see. Are you concerned about how afraid people, specifically people of color, are feeling? What would you do if you were an immigrant or Muslim person right now?

Trump will be good for the economy. He’s going to stop TPP and repeal NAFTA.

I really want to see better paying jobs and more opportunities, but I have doubts that Trump cares about the same things we do. He’s actually argued that wages are too high, that unions are bad, and is known for mistreating workers in his own businesses. What are your hopes for our economy? How do we know Trump is being honest?

I’m not worried about Trump’s statements about women.

I am very worried because many women experience violence in their homes, workplaces, schools, and in public. It is important to me that our president takes this seriously. Do you know women who have survived violence? How do you think they are feeling right now?

The protests have caused property destruction.

Many people are very upset about the outcome of the election because they are afraid for what will happen, and angry about the hurtful things they’ve heard. How do you think people should express these views?

We need to respect the results of the election.

I am not arguing with the results of the election. I do not believe we should be able to vote about whether or not people have access to basic human rights, like the ability to feel safe and practice our freedom of religion. Do you think we should be able to vote on one another’s safety?

The media is lying.

I often have a hard time trusting some media sources, too. What media sources do you trust? Why? What are you hearing that you think is untrue?

Trump will keep us safe.

Since Trump’s election, Muslims, Latina/o/x folks, LGBTQ people, and others have experienced violence hate crimes and threats. Students are being harassed in their schools. I feel like Trump’s language, promises, and policies make us less safe. What makes you feel unsafe?

Nothing will be as bad as you think.

Trump has threatened to bar people from our country purely based on religion. He has proposed watching people at their places of worship. His immigration plans will divide many families and cause a lot of harm to communities if they are carried out. I am worried about waiting to see what happens.

Click here to download the full Thanksgiving guide, which includes the Holiday Hotline and Actions.