On Dealing With Pain And Torment

Properly dealing with your internal pain,

It would be both cruel and dishonest to view your recent strifes as mere lapses in perspective, though some thoughts may be dominated but such things.

You were subsequently dumped by a woman following a chaotic week at work. On top of that, your accounts were nearly bled dry by an ensemble of expenses. This dilemma was then elevated by the dogmatic cries of your circle, who wanted to transform any leisurely time into blind expenditures.

And now you sit alone in a lodge, writing to me of the slow yet brutal climb towards inner peace. In the midst of that, you shamelessly shame your own emotions, as if attempting to separate the feeling from the individual. This is not only brutally assaulting your fortitude, but also blockading any positive reinforcements from supplying your lines:

I’ve become a mess. How could I have let things get so dire? I let myself be disrespected too often. I let loose, and things got out of hand. I’ll just have to stop being such a coward. I’ll have to become stronger.

This talk gets very tiring, my friend. Blank assertions, supplemented by wasteful questions.

We can argue all day over the stupidity of your recent actions and still arrive at no conclusion, but let’s not waste our time with that; let’s opt to instead investigate these very feelings of yours. Let’s start digging toward the core of this pain, and truly discover where these plights come from.

The logical foundations of your problems stem entirely from the events you associate your emotions with. As for your emotions themselves, they’ll always remain irrational, but not quite illogical.

Anyone with a rational understanding of emotions understands the powerful neurological and physiological effects stress can have on a person. To outright call your emotional state an overreaction would prove to be a serious blunder. At the same time, any recurring negative reinforcement is just as foolish.

A stigma of apathetic enforcement has also done some great damage to our young generation, attempting to bury ever-relenting issues into the ground without even trying to engage with them. This avoidance of the problem will almost always be worse than sulking, but don’t mistake that claim for promoting weak behavior; your poor management still needs assessment.

You’ve become a slave to the most powerful function of our being, our emotions. You’ve lost the reins and the spirit to go and retrieve them, and so arises your present state of misery and enhanced pain.

You must master your emotions, Amias, not get rid of them. You become stronger by accepting the damage you’ve taken and standing to promote better adaptation. Instead of destroying what’s left of your spirit over what happened, opt instead to reconstruct stronger fortifications to avoid or even transcend what hindered you in the past. What’s growth without pain? The mark of an untested life.

So you feel this way, you can’t beat yourself up over that. The woman and that group of friends meant something to you. You formed a worthwhile bond that you believed could be long-lasting. Unfortunately, that didn’t come to be, but that was outside of your control. And if you truly were your best, then there’s nothing more you could’ve done — besides maybe managing your money better.

I’ve commented on your reactivity in the past and I’ll do it once more. You always seem to be operating a step behind the circumstances presented to you. This can be improved by simply making yourself more aware of the present. These events aren’t anything you can’t prepare yourself for, nor are they anything that isn’t preceded by signs. Your ability to pick up on trends will determine your ability to bear through the hardships.

As for your emotions, they’re no easy thing to control. But you ought to attempt to understand yourself better, or else you’ll remain eternally naive.

As for your present actions, pick your damn head up; there are things to get done yet time is wasted. While you sit there and moan over a past life, the world evolves and adapts. You can’t narrow your sights on yourself forever. You can’t remain in the fortress indefinitely and expect to step back out into a world of blossoms and beaming rays. When the clouds in your mind impede your gaze, you must split them open through great introspection. You must become the investigator of your conscience.

These events will pass and you’ll rise once again. I haven’t lost faith in you, save you lose faith in yourself.

Best Wishes,

Corpus