The Struggles Of Commitment
On your complicated ventures,
I’m happy to hear you’ve remained consistent in your pursuits. Your sleep is adequate. Your mornings cultivate good structure. Immediate actions propel you further into the resistance of the day. It seems you’ve discovered flow, and even if only partially it’s still a significant leap towards greater things.
I do have one concern, however, regarding your direction. You’re well-versed in many arts, similar to Leonardo, and that has allowed you to observe life in a broader sense; you visualize the whole far more than I ever could. There’s just one concern, briefly mentioned in this take of yours:
I had to drop the gallery project after some weeks following complications with the distributor. You might get angry at this, but you must understand my position. Besides, I have some ways to go before I can hold up to the prowess of anyone significant. I’ll focus on other aspirations in the meantime.
To cast art out of the picture like an option for sweaters raises concerns on my end. Was art so trivial of a pursuit that it took no more than “complications with a distributor” to drag it into a coffin? When we had visited the National Gallery all you ever did was scorn the contemporary arts and fantasize over the pieces of the greats, like a newborn critic dipping his toes into unknown waters. Now you treat those very waters like the tap in a sink, ready to shut off at the first sign of inconvenience.
Don’t stress yourself with unnecessary assumptions. I’m not angry, but rather confused, as to how you intend to “reach the prowess of anyone significant” without first committing to the art over a long period. I’ve had my issues in the past regarding staying on course, even now they linger, and it takes some serious intervention to keep the ship steady. So now I wonder, accompanied by a conglomerate of other aspirations, how you intend to stay on course and compound significant gains with multiple paths coercing you their way.
Your position is difficult to understand because it’s all over the place. You balance on desires of which they themselves carry branches, and expect that the accumulation of all endeavors can propel you to the greatest heights of man. So that while you can see broadly, your pursuits will never carry you deeply into the love and appreciation of any particular art. That’s a compromising position to be in for an intellectual and creative such as yourself, as your drive is being tugged by many forces and therefore can’t persist through long voyages.
I want your focus to consist of a chief goal, one that can’t be triumphed by any aspiration. Using that as a guiding force, dedicate your endeavors towards meeting that goal, and restrict your tendency to branch out as much as possible. I’m not asking you to cease exploring different hobbies or passions but rather to not turn them into anything more than passions and hobbies, not until you’ve first accomplished the most important pursuit you have.
The art was bound to drown, given your active pursuit of programming. You’re still a novice in that regard and have little room to branch out. You may fill your time with occasional hobbies but never attempt to juggle around potential careers, for that’s when the danger begins to rise.
You’ve only known this pursuit for a brief time: don’t divorce it now!
You’ve yet to realize the magnificence of the path; don’t diverge now!
Make the act of commitment not just an act of discipline but also an act of learning. Educate yourself on creating bonds with the very skills that will carry your life towards stability. Shut out the other seductive pursuits that romanticize yet another rugged path for you to then diverge from, and stick to the strenuous one that’ll bring long-term clarity.
Travel deeply my find.
Best Wishes,
Corpus.
