A Post Full Moon Reading: Heart Openings and Healing
The past 10 days have been a roller coaster of emotions for me. I thought I had pre-dealt with the emotions of the full moon eclipse and actually felt great on the night of the full moon on Sunday. Then the tears came to remind me of the need for balance and to let go of even more things that may not serve the future. These days we have been dealing with mindset and faith and, to be quite honest, I’ve been struggling throughout 2020 to believe that things are going to change for the better. I started 2020 with the full belief that love was about to make an appearance and then I had a major spiritual up-leveling that included someone who seems to energetically always be around but is not actually in my life.
What makes it worse is the advice you get from others about “moving on.” You don’t get to move on from an energy and a spiritual connection. One of the hardest life lessons is learning to open your heart even when the other person is not who you imagine they would be and to turn inward. Love is a feeling in the body and far too many of us have disconnected from our body in favor of our mind. We can heal the mind of negative thought patterns or learn to have a different perception of a situation, but emotions and the ability to feel are deeply connected to our body.
With this full moon, many people have experienced emotions aimed at opening their heart to love. It could be romantic love or a realization that building a family or having children is a part of a life path that was previously closed (often due to our culture’s message to us that being independent and dedicating yourself to your career is the sign of success). If there is anything that this pandemic has taught us is that success through career pursuits is a lonely path — and I can personally attest to that.
We are in the midst of a need for healing. When the heart opens and the grief flows, too many of us are quick to judge and want to turn off the waterworks. We believe there is something wrong when, perhaps for the first time, something may be very right. The Turquoise Lotus Mother invites us to focus on our spiritual healing and perhaps seek out a healer to help integrate the new light that has entered the body to replace the emotions that were purged. When she makes an appearance, I book an appointment and this week it is with @kendalljaynebrunner at Halsa Spa in Vancouver. 🇨🇦
Why is healing the heart so difficult? Simply put, we don’t get to this stage of healing unless we have done serious work on our mind, body and soul already. Healing and opening the heart is often the last stop before becoming who we really are. If you are like me, when it gets to this point, you will realize how deeply conditioned you were by your family, your educational background and your own emotions. You will realize you are living the real life version of Runaway Bride because you actually have no clue who you really are (which is the underlying cause of commitment phobia). For those of us who were supposed to be more Beyonce than Ruth Bader Ginsburg (both are great just very different) earlier in life, the realization that your false self has been leading you this entire time is shocking and worthy of a few tears.
The truth of a spiritual journey that we seem to forget is that its not about feeling better — its about remembering who we really are. Once that happens a career is often not necessary — your spiritual purpose simply becomes being who you are as and anchoring light in whatever part of the world you will be called to live in. Just being is the gift of the divine feminine and one that we struggle the most with. We need to remember who we are and a larger purpose to why we are here.
It is in these moments that I like to remember one of my top 5 character strength from the VIA survey. Love. According to them, love means, “I experience close, loving relationships that are characterized by giving and receiving love, warmth, and caring." However, love as a character strength and love as an emotion are two different things:
After millions of songs and greeting cards, love needs no introduction. That said, we want to be clear about how the term is used in the VIA Classification. Love as a character strength, rather than as an emotion, refers to the degree to which you value close relationships with people, and contribute to that closeness in a warm and genuine way. Where kindness can be a behavioral pattern applied in any relationship, love as a character strength really refers to the way you approach your closest and warmest relationships. Love is reciprocal, referring to both loving others and the willingness to accept love from others. There are four types of love, each with a biological and evolutionary base: Attachment love: — parent for child; child for parent; Compassionate/altruistic love — kindness; Companionate love — friendship; Romantic love — spouse/partner/boyfriend/girlfriend”
2020 has been a true test of whether I can stay on track with my personal value of love despite other people telling me that I should focus on myself, not let others hurt me, move on, stop being co-dependent etc… The truth of the matter is is that I’m a soul who is capable of loving everyone and was trained by our culture not to. So while the rest of the world believes I’m giving up my worth and energy by focusing on my personal life, I keep writing those love letters in my journal. At the end of the day, the choices that we make to honor who we really are are far more important than what other people’s opinions are. Unconditional love comes from a place of giving without expectation in return. I’ve learned that I have a lot of love to give and looking forward to being able to receive in 2021.
Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes. – Carl Jung
Dr. Jennifer B. Rhodes is a licensed psychologist, relationship expert and the forthcoming author of Toxic Insecurity: Our Search for Authentic Love. She specializes in working with highly sensitive teens and young adults who are exploring ways to manage their anxiety, empathic skills, and relational trauma stemming from romantic breakups or difficulties in the parent-child relationship through the use of intuitive guidance, yoga, tango and transpersonal psychology.