Why humility is important for our growth
I used to admire a classmate of mine when I was in university. He got really good grades even though he spent time doing all kinds of leisure activities, having fun, and most importantly spent time with others. When I asked one of our friends on what makes him so special, she replied “What makes him great, is his humility”
What is (or what is not) humility?
A humble person is generally understood as one who has a modest view of their importance and who is not arrogant or overly proud. It's interesting to note that there are more words to describe what humility is not e.g. not doing things in excess, not exposing yourself as important, not bragging, etc. Many think of humility as a weakness e.g. being a doormat letting people walk all over you, or a person who is unable to stand up for themselves. There is also a belief that humility comes with low self-esteem and low self-worth. This cannot be further from the truth.
A humble person accurately evaluates their accomplishments. They know what they are, and what they are not — their accomplishments, gaps, and imperfections. They look at themselves, attempt to improve their weaknesses, and don’t compare themselves to their peers or people around them. They are also secure enough to not be highly self-critical or not be the center of attention and more than happy to share their achievements.
If you experience yourself judging someone as weak, track their growth over a longer period of time. Chances are that they will surprise you. Research shows that humility is linked to good self-esteem and is likely to demonstrate other growth qualities which include gratitude, low anxiety, and forgiveness.
“Humility is not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less.” — C.S. Lewis
I feel grateful to have known about the Law of Jante when I relocated to Denmark. While no explicit statement is made about humility, I like to believe that the rules stated are centered around it. Just like any set of rules, there could be multiple interpretations; but I believe you are humble enough to learn something new from it.
Why is it important?
One important result of humility in our character is being helpful to others. With the qualities mentioned above, it’s easy to come to the conclusion that humble people have space for others in their minds. Others matter to them— their opinion, interests, and boundaries. In the same way, we matter more to others, now that we matter less to ourselves.
“Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.” — Philippians 2:3
This is also about being smart since no great task is ever completed by one person. A collective mentality, is the key to achieving great results. Having an arrogant mentality is about knowing, talking a lot, self-serving, whereas humility constantly learns, listens, and serves others. It can be easily seen that This also opens up people, promotes warm communication, connects people, and brings them together — just the way human relationships were meant to be.
Humble leaders ask “How can I help?”. Embracing the concept of servant leadership propels our growth beyond what we thought was possible. Skills may be important to our success, but humility is necessary for growth.
As mentioned in the previous section, humility enables self-improvement, even in the smallest of things. This involves submitting to someone who coaches you and even unlearning something we thought we already knew. Someone who claims to know everything about a subject provides limited value since their opinion is biased by something that was previously thought impossible. A combination of humility, emotional intelligence, and perseverance enable new possibilities and solutions.
A great leader not only leads, but is also willing to be lead.
Not everything in life works out as planned. A stronger humility trait (as opposed to anger or frustration) can enable you to pick yourself up and move forward in life. Hence, humility also enables your inner peace and wellbeing.
Exploring Your Strength
Just like many character traits, humility can be strengthened in our character. There isn’t a perfect set of steps one can follow, but it definitely helps to focus on others and improving oneself.
“We learn humility through accepting humiliations cheerfully.”― Mother Teresa
- Keep an open mind and believe that there is something you can learn from the other person, even if you are entering an argument.
- Do a self-check on whether you are speaking more than others in a group and probably give an opportunity for others to express themselves.
- Actively listen to others’ ideas, not to just respond, but to see their angle to the problem.
- Accept your mistakes if you are in the wrong. Contrary to common belief, this is not a weakness.
- Accept rules and decisions previously made by someone else and ask questions to learn more rather than to be rebellious.
- Focus on what would be a win for the group, rather than for yourself.
- Compete not with others, but yourself. How can you be better at something today?
- Express genuine gratitude.
“Pride is concerned with who is right. Humility is concerned with what is right.” — Ezra Taft Benson
Promoting your collective efforts
The idea of promoting yourself makes some people sick. I know the feeling. However, if our contributions are not presented to others, how will they know about it?
“It’s not bragging if it’s based on facts” — IAMRemarkable
Although what could appear as self-advertising may not appeal to many of us, stating our contributions, presented as facts and data brings in a lot of meaning and learning for others. While I had trouble promoting myself as an individual contributor, things changed when I became a manager at my workplace. I had to speak up for my team and mention all the contributions of my teammates. I had to get more funding, get more resources approved, and make it clear that we were doing great work. While self-promotion is important, a collective promotion brings in so much more meaning, value, and team morale. The dream of accomplishing something great yourself is just self fulfilling and lacks meaning in the long run.
Remember to stay humble. Humility enables us to accept ourselves and others. Regardless of whether you are successful, keep improving yourself, be consistent with it and go beyond your comfort zone. Most importantly, help others, help you in the process.
Thank you for reading.
