What is love? Baby, Don’t hurt me!
There is no definite answer to this question, but I would like to dissect this subject on all fronts, including emotional, spiritual, religious, anatomical, social, as well as eternal in this article.
May be there is no straightforward answer to this question either. I know a handful of people who have the “Ross Syndrome” of marrying the idea of marriage! Of course, here I am mentioning Ross of “Ross and Rachel” from popular sitcom F.R.I.E.N.D.S. and not the rare disorder of peripheral autonomic nervous systems. If you are a fan of F.R.I.E.N.D.S like me, you would have also noticed a pattern in Ross’ character. He was the easiest to fall in love!
In both cases (Ross & optical science), visuals play a primary role as an introductory sense to feel anything. Besides, visuals or optics are just one of the five senses felt by a human being apart from touch, taste, smell, and sound (or hearing). Each of these senses plays an equal role in manifesting the feeling of love. I asked this same question to our favorite ChatGPT, and here is what it has to say!
Love is a complex and multifaceted emotion that has intrigued philosophers, poets, and scientists for centuries. It encompasses a range of feelings, including affection, attachment, intimacy, compassion, and passion. Love can manifest in various forms, such as romantic love between partners, familial love, platonic love between friends, or even love for pets or objects.
I am sure, ChatGPT knew Ross was a “Doctor”!
Spiritual perspective
Let’s harpoon this subject from a spiritual point of view first. The five senses of our body are our gateway to experience the world by our ego, according to Yoga Sutra. The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, an ancient text written over two millennia ago, primarily focuses on the philosophy and practice of yoga as a means to achieve spiritual liberation. While the Sutras do not directly address romantic love, they offer insights into the nature of love as it relates to the spiritual path.
One of the key concepts in the Yoga Sutras is the notion of cultivating detachment (vairagya) from worldly attachments and desires. This detachment is not a cold or aloof state but rather a freedom from being overly swayed by the fluctuations of the mind and external circumstances. Through this detachment, practitioners can experience a deeper sense of inner peace and contentment, transcending the need for external validation or dependency on others for happiness. The Yoga Sutras advocate for the cultivation of universal love and compassion (maitri) towards all beings.
By cultivating attitudes of friendliness toward the happy, compassion for the unhappy, delight in the virtuous, and disregard toward the wicked, the mind-stuff retains its undisturbed calmness — Book 1, Sutra 33
Practitioners are encouraged to cultivate an attitude of kindness, empathy, and goodwill towards others, regardless of their backgrounds or circumstances. Moreover, the Yoga Sutras emphasize the importance of self-awareness and self-realization as essential components of the spiritual journey. Through practices such as meditation, self-reflection, and introspection, individuals can deepen their understanding of their true nature beyond the limitations of the ego, leading to a profound sense of inner fulfillment and love.
Religious Perspective
Being born as Hindu and background of Hindu scriptures to my best of knowledge, I would like to take a jab at it as a Hindu!
The Bhagavad Gita, a sacred Hindu scripture, offers insights into various aspects of life, including love. While the Gita primarily focuses on imparting spiritual wisdom and guidance, it does touch upon the concept of love, particularly in the context of devotion and selflessness.
One of the central teachings of the Bhagavad Gita is the concept of bhakti, or devotion, which emphasizes the importance of developing a deep and loving relationship with the divine. The Gita encourages devotees to offer their actions, thoughts, and emotions as a form of devotion to God, embodying love and surrender in their spiritual practice.
Lord Krishna describes the qualities of a true devotee, stating that
one who is devoid of envy, has a friendly demeanor towards all beings, is compassionate, free from ego, and remains content in all circumstances, is dear to Him. Ch 12, Verse 13 — Bhagwad Gita
Furthermore, the Bhagavad Gita advocates for the principle of selfless action, known as karma yoga. This concept emphasizes performing one’s duties without attachment to the results, motivated by a sense of duty and love for humanity. By acting selflessly and with love, individuals can transcend the ego and cultivate a deeper connection with the divine.
The strongest feeling of love can only be for God who lives within us. There is a reason Jesus said “Love Thy Self”
Anatomical perspective
Anatomically speaking, love involves complex interactions between various physiological systems in the body, primarily the brain, nervous system, and endocrine system.
Love has been extensively studied in neuroscience, with research showing that certain regions of the brain are involved in the experience of love. The brain’s reward system, including areas such as the ventral tegmental area (VTA), plays a crucial role. These areas release neurotransmitters like dopamine, which are associated with pleasure and reward, contributing to the feelings of euphoria and excitement often experienced in the early stages of romantic love.
Hormonally speaking, Oxytocin, often called the “love hormone” or “bonding hormone,” is released during intimate moments such as cuddling, kissing, or sex. Oxytocin promotes bonding and attachment between individuals, fostering feelings of trust and intimacy. Similarly, vasopressin, another hormone, is involved in pair bonding and attachment. Love and physical affection also trigger the release of endorphins, which are neurotransmitters that act as natural painkillers and mood enhancers. Endorphins contribute to feelings of pleasure, contentment, and well-being, reinforcing the positive emotions associated with love and intimacy.
Love can also modulate the body’s stress response. Studies have shown that individuals in loving relationships may exhibit lower levels of stress hormones such as cortisol, as well as reduced activity in brain regions associated with stress and anxiety. This suggests that love may have protective effects on both mental and physical health.
Social Perspective
Being an introvert who communicates his thoughts with the world through writing, social aspects towards love are the last but not the least on my list. For decades and decades, you may believe that your partner loves you, but it may end up in nothing but a transactional value sometimes. Growing up, I used to hear that it is rare to find true love, and when you find it, you need to give your best to keep it! Love is a fundamental aspect of human relationships and plays a central role in shaping societal norms, values, and institutions.
One of the most notable quotes by Gary Chapman, renowned author and relationship counselor, is from his book “The 5 Love Languages”:
Love is something you do for someone else, not something you do for yourself — Garry Chapman
This quote encapsulates Chapman’s central message that love is expressed through actions and behaviors that prioritize the well-being and happiness of the other person rather than being solely focused on one’s own desires or needs. It underscores the importance of selflessness, empathy, and service in nurturing and sustaining meaningful relationships.
The book outlines how people express and receive love differently, categorized into five languages:
- Words of affirmation
- Quality time
- Acts of service
- Physical touch
- Receiving gifts
Understanding and speaking your partner’s love language can enhance communication, intimacy, and connection in relationships, fostering deeper emotional bonds and satisfaction. Chapman suggests that expressing love in a partner’s preferred language is vital for relationship fulfillment, as it ensures that gestures of affection are received and appreciated in the most meaningful way.
Modern society has been deeply influenced by the media, including movies, literature, and social media which plays a significant role in shaping societal perceptions of love for GenZ. Instacouples from social media platforms end up influencing individuals’ expectations, ideals, and beliefs about love, often leading to unrealistic or idealized notions of romantic love. Where as the actual “social love” is often nurtured and sustained within social support networks, including family, friends, and communities. These networks provide emotional support, advice, and validation, which are crucial for maintaining healthy relationships and coping with challenges.
However, expression of love is nor static neither traditional anymore. It has evolved over time due to cultural, economic, and technological changes. For example, changing gender roles, advances in communication technology, and shifts in cultural values can influence how love is expressed and experienced within society.
Even thought, love is nothing more than a chemical reaction within our bodies physically, if you truly believe in living this human experience as a spiritual being, you will start feeling the essence of living as an eternal being who can transcend the feeling of love across multiple dimensions!
Love starts where the ego ends and empathy begins… but stops where you are unable to express it! Sometimes, you stop talking to your loved ones, hoping they will understand your love and come back. But, this disconnection of communication also leads to discontinued expression, and unless expressed, the feeling works adversely! After a certain period of time, you stop feeling that attachments because your body doesn’t release the same “love hormones” anymore! Your ego becomes a prime reason to hurt you in this case instead of feeling the love you demanded by letting your ego throw the tantrums and hurt your relationship with the other being! Before it’s too late, try to reconcile with your loved ones because life is too short to allow your ego to be the driver and your empathy on the passenger seat! Time is the beast healer in this case.
When ego hurts, time heals!
Unless you do not express this love spiritually, religiously, physically, or even socially, the realization of eternal love and bliss can not be manifested in our experience of life!
On the subject of love, rather than expecting it, just be the personification of this idea of empathy and friendlyness to an extent that you manifest the feeling deep within you as well as you are liberated from the love itself!
