Over-achievement, achievement itself is over-rated during the lockdown

I saw this doing the rounds recently and some how it got my goat. Due apologies to whoever wrote this, I am sure your intentions were good.

“If you don’t come out of this lockdown with:

A new skill, more knowledge, better health and fitness.

You never lacked time.

You lacked discipline.”

So this is a rant. Be warned.

Before people make statements like this they should reflect that are they really helping and being motivating or being the exact opposite? Do you know that for some people this may be a very challenging time and such statements are totally unhelpful because it makes them feel unworthy and adds to their feeling of depression and anxiety? This will touch a sensitive nerve which is already exposed during these times. This is not a holiday where by choice people are spending time at home. This is a time which is actually difficult and needs to be acknowledged as such, instead of some Olympic achievement race. (Even the Olympics have been postponed, I might add.)

Maybe just coping every day is hard. Maybe doing housework is a challenge. Not everyone keeps or has help at home because it is a luxury but a necessity. Maybe the person has a nerve disorder, maybe there is a family member who needs constant medical care/attention, maybe the person has a broken limb, maybe the person has mental health issues. Who knows? You don’t know and that’s the truth.

Life was perhaps difficult before but it has just multiplied in terms of difficulty right now. Some of us maybe completely alone and far away from aging family members who we are worried about. Medications are becoming difficult to procure and supply chains are failing. We may not all have loving and supportive partners.We may not have a partner at all. We may not have someone whom we can call on or speak to whenever we wish to and know that they have our backs. We maybe stuck at home in a situation of domestic abuse — and yes, abuse comes in all forms not necessarily always physical. The person can mete out emotional abuse or throw tantrums etc. Definitely no question of help coming from that quarter. Just adds to your woes that’s all.

There are ofcourse close friends who pop up to check on you and some with whom you speak daily. Some old friends, some you considered acquaintances with whom you had very limited interactions may have shown that they can be counted on in these trying times. Similarly people who you thought were close to you, may show their true colours during this time as well. Their self-centredness showing itself very clearly and just a formal enquiry once a week with a close-ended sentence maybe all they think you are worth. So to repeat — a difficult time.

It is kindness, compassion the way people are opening their hearts, doors and knowledge for everyone stuck at home or stuck in a variety of ways that is the most heart-warming. This achievement drivel during these times makes no sense. If you are able to achieve a lot of things — that’s great but for you to point out that someone has a discipline issue is plain silly. Maybe they are inefficient at house work because of a very valid reason. Maybe their isolation is making it tough to get through the day. Maybe they have people in their lives who they could have done without. To be fair — none of us know. The external faces people show the professional world is not the be-all and end-all of existence.

If you have been kind to someone today, you have done enough. Instead of giving unwanted ‘gyan’ if you have helped in some small way, even to do a Google search on behalf of another person, that’s good enough. Remember before you make a battle-cry for achievement, sometimes just being alive and well, is all the achievement needed.

© Arpita Kuila

April 9, 2020