Job dwells on the nature of God
11 Should he come near me, I do not see him;
should he pass by, I am not aware of him;
12 Should he seize me forcibly, who can resist?
Who can say to him, “What are you doing?” (Job 9:11–12, NABRE)
It’s been quite some time since I posted on this blog, and today I decided to step away from the Book of Common Prayer, and take a look at the Daily Lectionary of the Roman Catholic Church. I’m glad I did, because these two verses I’ve copied above really jumped out at me.
I imagine there are some Christians (and maybe people of other faiths) who always feel the presence of God. I am not one of those people. Sometimes I wish I were: I imagine there is a confidence that comes from hearing God speak to you regularly. (I suppose sometimes that confidence actually crosses the line over into Crazyland, but that’s a different subject.) I often fail to hear that “still, small voice” that Elijah hears after the storm passes by (1 Kings 19:12). So I find this passage above really interesting.
“Should he come near me, I do not see him; should he pass by, I am not aware of him…” But look what happens in verse 12: “Should he seize me forcibly, who can resist?” So I have to ask, is it possible to miss hearing God’s voice, only to be inexorably influenced by God’s will? Discerning God’s will, and distinguishing it from our own desires, seems to me to be one of the hardest things to figure out in the Christian life. We say, “I’ll pray about that,” hoping that God will show us a way. We read Scripture, and see if we can apply what we read to our lives. And it’s always within the realm of possibility that what seems like a really good idea, what seems at the moment like “God’s will,” can actually end up being something we just wanted to do in the first place.
But then I think of how I got into church music, and the direction that has taken my life. I never had a moment when I got my first church choir position, when I said to myself, “This seems like a good career choice.” And there have been a few times when I thought, “This church music thing just isn’t working out.” And yet, I have been drawn into a professional life that keeps me centered on using my musical gifts to serve Christ’s Church. I think it’s very possible that God “seized me forcibly,” and regardless of whether or not I thought that church music was a viable “career choice,” that’s where God wanted me.
So my prayer today is that God would continue to drag me where I am needed, where I am supposed to go, even if I can’t always hear his voice giving me directions. Amen.
