Member-only story
Forgiving is a Secret Weapon
Why it probably doesn’t mean what you think it means
When someone wrongs us, we want revenge. We don’t want them to get away with whatever they have done. The old line “get even” has some teeth to it.
The saying “forgive and forget” also muddles what it truly means to forgive someone.
Forgiveness goes against our nature, perhaps. You might think forgiving is letting them get away with whatever they did.
Here is the secret. The Bible and mental health professionals agree that forgiveness is for the one forgiving. Forgiveness is more about what you do internally than anything else. Just think of this: Has your anger at someone for harming you had any effect on them at all? The truth is, it doesn’t hurt them, but it does hurt you.
Think about this: What does your anger, hate, and resentment actually do to the person? You are not punishing them by being mad at them, you are punishing yourself.
To forgive is what God wants us to do, and it’s good for our mental health. When you forgive, you benefit more than the person you forgive does.