A Random Man Once Screamed at Me in Public
Dear Random Man,
It was just another day waiting tables at The Standard Hotel
for me, when you walked in.
I had seen you many times before. You were often disheveled and neurotic in appearance. Each time you’d stop by you would ask the hostess to pass a note to Andre. As in the millionaire debonair owner of The Standard Andre Balazs who once dated Uma Thurman and was previously married to Katie Ford of Ford Models. That Andre Balazs.
Now I had been watching this happen once a week for a month and I was pretty sure you did NOT know Andre. Had you known Andre, I suspected you would have just called, texted, or emailed him like a normal person and not someone in high school trying to talk to their crush.
So, I decided to ask you about that. This time when you asked Skye to pass a note, I said “Why don’t you just call him?”
You flew into a rage. “WHY DON’T YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU STUPID BITCH?!”
The whole restaurant came to a standstill.
I stood there frozen. I hadn’t taken into account that 1. The Standard has shit security and couldn’t care less about their employees or that 2. you are totally insane.
That’s when the very scary looking Josh came out of the kitchen. Josh looked like a hillbilly serial killer. But hot and with a heart of gold.
“Don’t you ever come in here and talk to her like that again! Or any other woman! We do not treat ladies like that, you hear me, son? You come back, and I will beat the shit out of you. Now get the fuck out!”
Looking like your balls had just been cut off, you quietly walked out. Once you got outside, you turned to face the window and started shouting obscenities at me again. But then you saw Josh coming towards the window, and you ran.
Part of me fell in love with Josh that day. The other part of me remembered I still had a boyfriend.
Regardless I just wanted to thank you for never coming back.
xoxo,
The Standard Waitress
