When A Co-Founder Is A Scapegoat
The telltale signs that your need for a co-founder isn’t healthy
When I began dreaming up my current company, it was insanely triggering to build it without a co-founder and all by my lonesome.
Until that experience, I didn’t realize how much of my confidence and self-worth I had carried on the backs of my co-founders. Because my first two businesses were built in partnership with my co-founders, I unknowingly created the belief that I wasn’t capable of building a business without a partner by my side.
It was a harsh aha moment, but one I’m happy I experienced. I grew past it and now I’m running a successful business as a solo business owner.
After launching and running my third business now by myself, I’ve had a lot of time to reflect on what it’s like to have a healthy desire for a co-founder, and when it’s a cry of fear from your insecurities.
If you’re currently in pursuit of a co-founder and you’re on the fence on whether to keep pursuing the search or not, here’s what my exploration of the topic can teach you.
When A Co-Founder Is A Scapegoat
Here are the telltale signs that your need for a co-founder may not be healthy:
- You’re looking for someone right away.
- You’re flexible in your search criteria.
- You’re looking for extra hands to help you.
- You’re worried you don’t have what it takes to make the business a success by yourself.
In the first two scenarios, you’re willing to sacrifice quality in exchange for support and companionship.
You’re not making the decision under the weight of what a multi-year commitment will possibly be like with this person and instead, you’re opting for the shotgun wedding.
In the last two scenarios, you’re just picking a warm body to fill in the chair next to you so that you can receive free labor or a friend who you can commiserate with.
None of these criteria are sufficient nor representative of what a co-founder relationship is like or why you should be looking for one.
They’re instead, highlighting personal insecurities you have about doing things alone, or unfairly giving someone an inflated title in exchange for free labor.
Here’s what a true co-founder relationship should look like —
What A True Co-Founder Looks Like
Do you see your co-founder as someone who supports your vision, or someone who is co-creating with you?
When they say that finding a co-founder is like committing to marrying someone, truer words have not been spoken.
Marriage is not 100% fairy tales, happiness, and butterflies, it’s a lot of mundane, complicated, and trying work too. A relationship with a co-founder is the same thing — there will be good moments and moments of complete un-notability and chaos.
Similar to a marriage, a co-founder relationship is not one where the co-founder is purely supporting your vision and helping you bring it to life. It’s a partnership.
When you bring on a true co-founder, it’s no longer about you and your vision. Your co-founder becomes a co-creator in that vision and the two of you become the collective “us”.
In this type of partnership, you let go of the reins and open up to outside input. There’s no this is “my” startup anymore, the language shifts to “our” startup.
If this sounds like the complete opposite of what you’re looking for, and you want to bring on someone who’s providing support for your vision, you’re probably looking to hire an employee or freelancer who can work for you part-time or as a contractor.
A true co-founder is essentially another you — someone who works with you and not for you.
They won’t be a “yes” woman/man and they may give you some push back on your initial build. They may call you out on your BS, critique your work ethic, and even tell you that the vision for the company needs to be revisited.
If you’re looking for that kind of co-founder, one that’s unapologetically pushing you to be better and you’re in a place where you’re open to receive that level of feedback and critique, then you’re looking for a true co-founder.
Screw dreams. Set Big Hairy Goals that scare you. We’ll help by rooting you on from your inbox.
