“Forgive me. This is my favorite sin: despair — / whose love I celebrate with wine and prayer.”
The poem that the above quote comes from, “Praying Drunk,” says it “lurches from metaphor to metaphor,” and yearns to be a form of prayer. In fact, it is. On the superficial level, it follows the script of what is expected: confession, intercession, supplication, even requests.
But it is a prayer by any definition. It is also funny in its very humanness as it “lurches” between the sacred and the profane.
The Never-Ending by Andrew Hudgins was his third book in a row nominated for a major American prize (the National Book Award, this time); it was also his third…
Flirty messages don’t mean a thing
There are few things so sweet as a secret message from a colleague. It brings colors to your Mondays and you have the feeling of a fresh start.
My friend Sarah blossomed when a fellow worker started sending her not-so-professional emails. A compliment here, a funny video there, and after a while they became friends via social networks.
He was a handsome tall guy who knew how to party. And very interested in her life outside the office. He didn’t have a girlfriend. She had a fiance who lacked ambition compared to this high-flyer. …
Be your own best cheerleader by taking action
Dear Big Selfer,
Our writers have been sending a clear message: We don’t really need self-help to help ourselves. Then again, our writers do their research to bring you what you just might be needing right now. Maybe it’s a counter-intuitive idea, an approach to a mindset you hadn’t considered. Maybe it’s a friendly slap on the back for some encouragement. Maybe it’s the wisdom that comes from some personal, lived experience. Whatever the case, there’s a balance between being and doing, and we at Big Self feel certain of one thing: You got this.
The ability to take a break shouldn’t be a privilege
For the past few days, I’ve been busy sending emails and canceling commitments. Last week, I made an on-a-whim decision to take a break from work and clear my calendar as much as I can until my 30th birthday in June.
It feels like taking that break just before I pass the magical threshold of 30 is essential to my mental health, as well as personal and professional growth. It feels so vital right now that I’m willing to own the fact that I’m putting a lot of my connections on the line.
Having said that, I feel both a…
I don’t have ‘vision,’ I’ve simply made mistakes you haven’t yet made
I’ve never been a fan of the adage “We don’t know what we don’t know.” It’s up there with similar banalities like “Building the plane while flying it” or “It is what it is.”
“We don’t know what we don’t know” feels like a sentence ender or an excuse. If it were an emoji, it might be 🤷♀️. I prefer a lexically different approach to that idea, and it’s something of a sentence starter:
“We know that we don’t know.”
That phrase leans into uncertainty, with a hopeful tinge. There’s a veritable canyon-full of information out there that none of…
And yes, you can discover it yourself
Rehydration makes you more hopeful and optimistic, they say. But drinking 100 ounces of water a day somehow didn’t get me through the bombing easily. I’d start at the sound of an explosion and was apprehensive despite my water intake. Later on, psychological tricks and morning mantras didn't make my mobbing less awful. My nerves were on edge all the time.
Content about happiness often comes from those who have little life experience. But they know how to write about a scientific experiment on 300 people in 1,300 words. Or from those whose life is easier than yours. These articles…
Whatever your goal, start by fixing your surroundings
“Environment is the invisible hand that shapes human behavior.”
The said environment isn’t just your workspace. It’s the people you hang out with, the information you consume, and the food you eat.
- If your desk looks like a warzone, so will your mind. Chaos will invade your thoughts and sabotage your work.
- If all your friends talk about are beer, TikTok, and Netflix, you’ll never grow.
- If all you eat is processed and junk food, you’ll feel sluggish all day. You won’t move your legs for a walk, let alone work out.
- If you spend your breaks watching people flex…
Big Self writers explore big questions and how to roll in tandem with the universe
Dear Big Selfer,
Viktor Frankl’s famous Man’s Search for Meaning was first published in Austria 75 years ago. The Holocaust survivor hit a nerve in the modern human experience, especially with the growing awareness of the mind-numbing atrocities already witnessed by the first half of the 20th century. Today, we’re as tuned in and informed as ever, and yet sometimes the deluge of another genocide, another shooting, another accident overwhelms.
Our stable of writers has come out with some insightful approaches regarding yourself and listening and learning well from your own and others’ experiences. …
Conscious manifestations
Your mind is always going to tell you it’s 10x harder than it actually is
Manifesting From the Ego vs Manifesting From a Conscious Place
Manifesting from an egoic mindset can be very difficult and almost impossible. The ego gets fixated on specific ideas and outcomes and this is not to say you can’t manifest specific things — you can — but when you feel a strong desire to manifest a specific job or a specific person, usually this is coming from the ego.
The ego is very limited.
When we allow for conscious manifestation, we open up to all possibilities, not just one. We open up to what is for our highest and greatest good.
Conscious manifestation is simply co-creating with the universe.
It…
Just don’t be determined to do it all.
I’m fed up with must-dos. And I have a huge problem with washing the dishes. Since we are washing them by hand, our life at the start of lockdown became unbearable. I’d spend ages in the kitchen, cooking and cleaning for four. Then our sink would look as if we had served our 15-story building:
“How come we have so many dishes?!”
One day we didn’t have a single clean plate. I’d already had too much fun with disinfectants, preschool homework, lunch, and dessert. At 6 p.m., I couldn’t combat the dirty sink as well. So, I said to myself:
…
Big Self
Good mental health unlocks your purpose.
