A guide for those who dread the job they once used to dream of
How did you end up here — feeling miserable, bored, or simply lukewarm about your work?
A few years ago, having the job you have right was the dream. But these days, when the alarm goes off and you need to get out of bed, the prospect of going to work feels… not too bad, at best.
Your job felt way more exciting when you were just starting. Everything seemed like a fun challenge and you were proud of yourself. But those days are long gone, and you’re left wondering:
How to reignite that sense of happiness you used to feel at work? …
Your team might be ‘catching’ your emotions at work.
I once worked for a leader who took the phrase ‘wearing your heart on your sleeve’ to a whole new level. Some labeled him as ‘passionate’ while others thought he just felt everything at work a bit more deeply than the rest of us.
Whatever the case, I started to notice that my mood at work was affected— sometimes even dictated — by his. And, it wasn’t just me. The entire team had started to joke about using his mood as a barometer for predicting how their days would unfold.
Turns out this is a bonafide psychological phenomenon called emotional contagion and it happens “when you mimic, usually without conscious effort, the emotions and expressions of people around you.” …
And it’s better this way
Dear Big Selfer,
The self-improvement industry, with all its possibilities, has one big problem: It often suggests that we’re inadequate the way we are.
Self-help marketing plays on our desire to be perfect in order to feel worthy. Of course, the definition of ‘perfect’ is slightly different for everyone. But what most of us share is the idea that we need to arrive at a certain point of our “journey” to deserve good things.
In other words, we believe we need to do something specific to deserve love, a satisfying job, a sense of fulfillment, a nurturing relationship. …
The writers on whose shoulders Big Self stands
As Big Self grows into a thriving publication on self-discovery, there are a few writers who lift it off the ground. They connect the intangible ideas back to the Earth. They stand firmly in their truth long enough to give Big Self shape and substance.
I think of them as the columns of the Big Self. On the one hand, they are standalone creators expressing their original ideas. On the other, they make up a team that guides our readers and holds the Big Self vision together.
Below, you’ll find a directory of all the Big Self columns. Thanks to them, it will now be easier to navigate the publication and find the kind of advice and inspiration you’re looking for. …
Don’t let the hardships break you
My mom’s life was everything but easy. Still, she stayed sane through it all. But she wasn’t born resilient. A personal tragedy made her finally stop stressing about the small stuff. My granddad died unexpectedly during a Christmas break at the age of 55. Through her grief, my mom finally learned what isn’t worth her energy.
Sadly, with this new knowledge, her life wasn’t getting easier. From that year on, tragedy was swelling around her. Granddad’s death symbolically ended the good life in our country. Everybody was getting poorer until the civil war started in the former Yugoslavia. It brought us the new rich — lawbreakers with big money. Mom worked for $3 a month and waited for milk in a line. …
“Problems that remain persistently insoluble should always be suspected as questions asked in the wrong way.”
We can think about this quote in grand, philosophic ways about the nature of the universe and human behavior. We can also think about it in terms of our own identity and actions and experiences.
In The Book on the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are, Alan Watts argues with equal parts conviction and compassion that “the prevalent sensation of oneself as a separate ego enclosed in a bag of skin is a hallucination which accords neither with Western science nor with the experimental philosophy-religions of the East.”
He explores the cause and cure of that illusion. The profound unease emerges as we confront our cultural conditioning, but it leads to a deep sense of lightness. We must surrender to the comforting mystery and interconnectedness of the universe. …
The science behind flow and how to trigger it
Do you want to achieve more in your business, or get more out of your career, relationships — out of your life?
What does it take to get incredible results and transformational outcomes on a consistent basis?
Without working yourself down to the bone, sacrificing your health and relationships, and burning out?
These are some of the key questions that human performance expert, Steven Kotler, has been researching for over three decades.
Steven Kotler is an award-winning journalist, a New York Times best-selling author widely regarded as one of the world’s leading authorities on the topic. …
Optimism isn’t always constructive.
On December 31st, 1998, prompted by a sudden will to turn my luck, I considered the idea of keeping a journal, as older, cooler graders did.
What made the thought of what I later called a secret diary so fascinating was the prospect of making my wishes for the new year come true, by the sheer virtue of intention. A little sister in lieu of a brother, a friend who’s not imaginary, overnight flexibility so when my gymnastics coach would force my legs into a split, it won’t hurt like hell. This kind of wishes. …
Use areas of interest and the 6% rule instead
Since he was six, Joe had never felt more alive than when swinging a racket. That’s why he’d think of tennis whenever he found himself spending the night at a bomb shelter. When the attacks would stop, Joe would go back to bed looking forward to his next match. Three months later, the war stopped allowing the eleven-year-old Joe to reunite with his passion.
From there, his journey to world-class begun.
By the age of seventeen, Joe was winning 49% of all tennis points he played and rose to rank 680 worldwide. But that wasn’t enough for him. He wanted the summit but knew he could only climb one step at a time. That’s why Joe forgot about his goal. Instead, he decided to focus only on the next moment, the next swing. …
Social media and other superficial mediums are giving us an awful image of success and happiness.
Everyone has a different perception of success. Countless writers came up with well-marketed books promising to show you how to succeed. An insane number of life coaches post motivational quotes and positive videos on Instagram and Tik-Tok, encouraging you to sign up for their ultra-expensive courses. Some of them have decent ideas; others are simply trying to earn a quick buck. Regardless of what they promise, all these sources have different levels of usefulness, and you should never believe a stranger promising you “the key to the kingdom.”
Success looks different for everyone. There is no magic formula or ultimate life hack that will make you successful overnight. …
