Ahey

In Memory Of Henry Abebe

Life is too beautiful to end with just a last breath.

As we drift into sleep our subconscious becomes active manifesting in dreams. I believe that is possibly the same way we drift into the afterlife with the spiritual (or whatever it is) becoming more active and manifesting itself in the dimension where it thrives best. The physical body is a constraint to the spirit. It has to go for the spirit to be set free and in its element.

That is what I have come to believe. It just can’t all end like that. It can’t.

The last couple of days have been tough. I have been trying to let go while remembering moments with our brother Henry Abebe. They were just too numerous and memorable. The last time we spent a considerable amount of time together was in Benin sometime in 2009. It was a hilarious and exhilarating week. I left Nigeria shortly afterwards and till today I could not believe I had not seen him for such a long time. I abandoned my family for the hustle.

Whenever we spoke it was like we never parted. I was never guarded when I was with him, I could tell him anything. My failures, my dreams, my hopes. He was the one who told me never to be afraid of being broke. He said that one of the joys of being broke as an entrepreneur was that things could only get better. It certainly did.

He was generous in spirit and everything else. He was from an affluent home but still very streetwise. The only one who understood that you could be in the midst of affluence and still be broke. He rescued me financially at the times I needed it most and did not judge me for the mistakes I oftentimes made. He was a brother, he had been there before. Mistakes were just part of learning. He never judged me.

I was always looking forward to updating him on my progress as his joy at my wellbeing and progress was genuine. He knew where we had come from. He was there at our lowest periods as a family and he lifted us all up.

He was the one you could call at 3:am in the morning when things had completely taken a turn for the unexpected and he would still have your back. So many times that call had to be made and he never came up short. He was a true brother.

Henry Abebe was passionate about those he called family and friends, he expected them to be passionate in return. Many times I had seen situations where other people would have been offended and become enemies because of a slight or wrongdoing, it was not in him. He always gave up bitterness quickly and became the better man. He was always brother. A true and trustworthy one.

He was a man who lived life and really enjoyed it. I remember all the parties we had in Benin and Lagos where he was the life of the party. No gathering of his friends or peers was ever boring when he was around.

Yesterday I remembered a story he told me once.

His Dad’s driver got to their house at Iruekpen and for the first time he had to sleep in air-conditioned rooms. The poor guy went all out to enjoy it but overdid it. He put on all the airconditioners before he went to sleep and ended up in hospital in the morning because he almost froze to death.

Most times when I put on the air-conditioner in a room at a new place before I go to sleep, I remember that story. Each time I am in a cold place during winter and the windows are open, I remember that story. Each time I remember each of his funny stories, I laugh. He was “Ahey Bianci”, my Uncle’s favorite.

He always wanted people to laugh because he was always a happy man. The only day I saw him sad was the day his sister Bess was buried. He still came out of it and made us all happy on that sad day.

Even at the worst times in crisis he would still have a joke to crack to liven everyone up. There were many of those crisis periods in our family and he was always there to make things better and to solve problems. I cried the day I heard he died because there would be nobody like him to cheer us all up. “Ahey Bianci” was gone.

If the story is true that in ancient Greece, when a man died they only asked one question — “did he have passion?”. Yes he was passionate about life. Life was his passion.

That passion cannot just disappear forever. I believe his spirit lives on in another dimension, a dimension where there is no illness or infirmity. A dimension where the party never stops and he remains the life of it.

That was the man we lost on Friday 8th August 2014. That was our brother.

Henry Oyailo Abebe. 1961 — 2014

Bros Ahey,

Today I will no longer be sad. Mourning is over and this is a day of joy. I just wish I had told you while you were alive. I wanted it to be a surprise, I waited too long. I will tell him about you. I will tell him the Iruekpen story and we will laugh. Your laughter will continue, the happiness you shared will remain eternal….